Werewolf Kibble: The Horrible Blog of M.T. Murphy

Guest Post at The Vampire Review: Scoundrels Are Cool

2011-09-26T09:22:00.001-05:00

Han shot first.

With that statement, I reveal myself as the nerd that I am. So be it. I am a geek who prefers to see a character with a dark side.

Scoundrels are cool.

Real people aren’t all sunshine and roses, even though they may pretend to be. Everyone has both good and bad in them. Make-believe people should be the same way.

Take vampires for example.

(Read the rest at The Vampire Review!)

Big thanks to Tami Jackson of The Vampire Review for having me over to her blog! Check out Tami's debut title "Ravena & The Resurrected."

New novel: Lesser - Now available!

2011-09-16T23:13:00.000-05:00

Now available on Kindle, Nook, and Smashwords in all eReader formats for $2.99!

Reviewers: Email me for an ARC if you are interested: authormikemurphy(at)gmail(dot)com

Robyn has found the tomb of the most powerful vampire in the world. Now, different forces in the underworld either want to steal her secret or make sure it dies with her.

Two things stand in their way:

The vampiress Lucifera and her werewolf companion.

Whoever survives will find that the lesser of two evils is not always the right choice.

Coming in September 2011

And, what is on the tip of Lucifera's sword you ask?

Book Release: Here Be Monsters - An anthology of Monster Tales

2011-09-09T13:22:00.002-05:00

For the past three months, I have been quietly working with several other authors and two artists to bring you all something special. Here it is.

Here Be Monsters
Eight tales of vampires, werewolves, demons, zombies, and other horrors:

M.T. Murphy - Blackmail & Spider Bag
S.M. Reine - Something Wrong
India Drummond - The Reaver
Anabel Portillo - Lux
Jeremy C. Shipp - Figs
Samantha Anderson - Deals and Demons
Sara Reinke - Periphery People

The book also includes several paintings by Dark Fantasy Artist Alissa Rindels and an original sketch by Spanish Artist Jose Manuel Portillo Barientos.

You will find horror stories, sci fi, urban fantasy, straight-up fantasy, and even a taste of bizarro fiction. They all have one thing in common: monsters.

What would you expect to pay for this monumental tome filled with literary masterpiece short stories?

$19.95?

$9.95?

$2.99?

How about $0? That’s right. This anthology is free on Smashwords. You can download the electronic file of your choice to read on your computer, iPad, Kindle, Nook, or Sony eReader. If Smashwords doesn't work for you, contact me at my email address below and I will be happy to email you a copy in the format of your choice.

Those of you who have read my debut novel, Lucifera’s Pet, will see some familiar faces in my stories Blackmail and Spider Bag. You will also be introduced to a new character who will play a bigger role in my new novel, Lesser, which is launching next week! If you would like an advance review copy for your blog or in return for an honest review on Smashwords/Amazon/Barnes&Noble, email me at authormikemurphy (at)gmail.com. I will begin sending those this weekend.

I’m not the only author launching a book this month.

S.M. Reine launched the sequel to her debut teen werewolf novel today: All Hallows Moon.

Also Bizarro fiction pioneer and Bram Stoker Award nominee Jeremy C. Shipp has published a monstrous anthology of his own: Aberrations.

Go forth, read, and review!
~M

Final cover art: Lesser

2011-06-20T00:39:00.001-05:00

Take a look at the final cover art for my second Bad Moon novel, Lesser.

Alissa Rindels is the amazing artist who produced this painting of the vampire Lucifera. Alissa also painted the cover and interior art for Lucifera's Pet. Check out more of her fantastic artwork at her website.

Lesser is scheduled for release in September 2011. Stay tuned!

Title and Cover Art - Bad Moon Book 2

2011-05-28T01:03:00.000-05:00

After what has felt like a smurfing eternity, I am finishing up the draft for my follow up novel to Lucifera's Pet. Without further ado, here is the title:

LESSER - Bad Moon Book 2

The title, Lesser, has many meanings in the story. The most obvious is the old saying, "the lesser of two evils." While this comes into play, it has far greater significance. That's all I'm saying. Anything more would be spoiler territory.

I have also decided upon a title for the series: Bad Moon. Within the story, "bad moon" is a vampire slang term for a werewolf hunt--usually one in which the werewolf has virtually no hope of of surviving.

Now for the good part: the initial cover sketch.

I have once again had the great pleasure of working with Alissa Rindels on the cover art. She provided me with her initial sketch for the front cover this afternoon:

As you can see, at some point in the story, Lucifera has a pretty rough day. The back cover will continue the scene. If you want to see who or what is at the tip of her sword, keep on watching this blog.

Alissa will have an art booth at the 20th Annual Iowa Renaissance Festival and Gathering o' Celts this month, May 28-29-30, at Middle Amana Park (Medici Grove) - Amana Colonies, IA . If you are able to stop by, you might be able to see her working on this painting. Be sure to visit her website and check out her prints for sale. You can even purchase a hand embellished print, which is the next best thing to owning an original work.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the cover draft. Let me know in the comments below.

New Lucifera's Pet Cover Design

2011-05-26T22:59:00.000-05:00

I am really digging the new eBook cover design for Lucifera's Pet by Robin Ludwig Design.

Big thanks to Alissa Rindels for the beautiful original painting Bellona Sleeps and to Robin Ludwig Design for turning it into a kickass cover!

I decided a revamp was in order to make it a little easier to see in the online bookstores. Let me know what you think.

Book Giveaway! - Win a Kindle copy of Blood Faerie by India Drummond and a signed print copy of Lucifera's Pet by M.T. Murphy

2011-05-13T12:20:00.000-05:00

Read on for a chance to win a Kindle copy of India Drummond's new release, Blood Faerie and a signed print copy of Lucifera's Pet by M.T. Murphy.

Yes. I just referred to myself in third person. I love doing that.

I mean M.T. Murphy loves referring to himself in third person because he is a great big weirdo. That's better.

To celebrate the launch of her latest urban fantasy novel, Blood Faerie, author India Drummond will give away five Kindle copies of her book on its release day, June 1, 2011.

Blood Faerie is the first in India Drummond’s new series, Caledonia Fae.

The blurb:

Unjustly sentenced to death, Eilidh ran—away from faerie lands, to the streets of Perth, Scotland. Just when she has grown accustomed to exile, local police discover a mutilated body outside the abandoned church where she lives. Recognising the murder as the work of one of her own kind, Eilidh must choose: flee, or learn to tap into the forbidden magic that cost her everything.

To enter to win a Kindle copy of the new book, all you have to do is sign up for her email newsletter. The email list is only used to announce book releases and important events, and emails are sent out infrequently. (It’s free, and it’s easy to unsubscribe after the contest date if you find it’s not for you.) Sign up here: http://eepurl.com/bTDfP

Five winners’ names will be announced on the India Drummond newsletter on June 1st, along with instructions for how winners can claim their free Kindle books. Only subscribers are eligible to win.

No Kindle? No problem! Anyone with a PC, Mac, or smart-device (iPhone, Blackberry, Android phone, etc) can read a Kindle book. Download free reading software here:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=sa_menu_karl3?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

Want to quadruple your chances of winning? Simply tweet about the contest with a link to any participating blog post and include @IndiaDrummond in your tweet. Or, share the link on Facebook. (But be sure to add @India Drummond to tag her on the link so she will see it! – You can add her to your friend list here: http://www.facebook.com/india.drummond) And finally, add another entry to the list by posting about the contest on your blog.-- Tweet and share the link as much as you like, but only one additional entry per method, per person.

Win a signed copy of Lucifera's Pet!

For Werewolf Kibble blog readers, I am also holding a contest for a free signed copy of my novel Lucifera's Pet. To enter, post a comment below and sign up for India's email newsletter. For every ten people who enter my contest, I'll add another signed copy of Lucifera's Pet to the prize pool.

Good luck!

Zoe Winters: "...my demons are anatomically correct."

2011-05-03T08:57:00.001-05:00

If I learned one thing from Rocky and Bullwinkle, it's that knowledge is power. Today, I am asking Paranormal Romance author Zoe Winters several seemingly random questions so that I may steal some of her power.

You're scoffing.

Don't scoff.

I can crack roasted pistachio nuts with my mind. Imagine what I'll be able to do after this interview.

MTM: What the hell is the difference between urban fantasy and paranormal romance anyway? Sometimes I wonder if a cover with cleavage + leather pants + tattoos (urban fantasy) is the only thing that separates the two genres. Then I slap myself and go watch Faith-heavy episodes of Buffy. There's a question in there somewhere.

Zoe: LOL. Faith was pretty hot. I always really liked Faith. I thought she was misunderstood. I bet... like a typical guy, you like those scenes where Faith and Buffy fight. Right? Because when they're rolling around in the mud like that... there is always that slim chance...

But... on topic... Urban Fantasy might have a romantic subplot, but it's not a primary focus on the story like it is in paranormal romance. The romance thread also doesn't have to have a happily ever after. And the heroine can be a real slut. Not always, but dude, these women seem to have a revolving door. Urban fantasy also tends to be told in first person more than paranormal romance is. (Or that's my observation, it could also just be the luck of the draw in the books I read.)

MTM: I have two rules in how I spend my time reading and/or watching movies/television: Absolutely no Lifetime movies and no rosy sappy romance stories. I like that in your books the storyline does not play second fiddle to the romance. Just how important is the plot in paranormal romance?

Zoe: You mean you don't curl up with popcorn with a woman-in-peril or a Hallmark Presents movie? My entire image of you has now changed. :P I think plot is really important in PNR because the fascination isn't just boy meets girl, but the backdrop against which it all plays out and all the drama.

MTM: A werewolf, a succubus, and a vampire walk into a bar. Whose ego is the biggest? Who has the best hair? Who is most likely to eat the bartender?

Zoe: Unless this is a trick question, that's super easy. Vamp has all the ego, succubus has the best hair, and werewolf eats the bartender. I know I could have been creative and gone a different way, but it is what it is.

MTM: In your newest book, Save My Soul, demons take center stage. I remember in Kevin Smith's Dogma, angels and demons are revealed to be hung like Ken dolls in a shocking and heartwarming scene. Are your demons anatomically correct?

Zoe: LOL! Well, they don't stare dreamily into each other's eyes all day, so yes... my demons are anatomically correct, as are my angels (yet to be introduced but coming soon.)

MTM: My pet Schnauzer complains about sex scenes in novels, yet he reads all the juicy parts in books when I'm not looking. I think he forgets that Kindle defaults to the last page read. Plus, my phone ends up with dog hair all over it each morning. Should I confront him on this?

Zoe: The risk with confronting him is that you'll embarrass and stress him out, and he'll start peeing in your shoes. Probably you should ignore it and hope for the best.

MTM: What current projects are you working on?

Zoe: About to start writing rough draft for book three in the Pretverse. I'll be introducing a panther therian, an agoraphobic witch, angels, and the heaven dimension. I also might explain some stuff about guardians and what they are.

MTM: Word association time! Please respond with the first thing that comes to mind.

MTM: Vampire
Zoe: Yes, please

MTM: Shiny
Zoe: bright

MTM: Romance
Zoe: chocolate

MTM: Mustache
Zoe: ewww

MTM: Captain Mal Reynolds:
Zoe: I am a leaf in the wind (I know, that's not who says that line, but you said first thing that came to mind.)

MTM: Thanks for another great interview, Zoe! My Schnauzer grudgingly thanks you, too.

Zoe Winters writes quirky and sometimes dark paranormal romance. She lives with her husband and two cats, and her favorite colors are rainbow and clear. For more information visit http://www.zoewinters.org or her blog at: http://zoewinters.wordpress.com

Save My Soul is available in Print, Ebook, and Audio, go here for more info:
http://zoewinters.wordpress.com/2011/01/25/save-my-soul-now-available-in-ebook/

Save My Soul by Zoe Winters

2011-04-27T03:13:00.000-05:00

From the Amazon.com product description:

"All he’s asking for is her soul.

After buying the antebellum home she’s fantasized about since childhood, Anna Worthington discovers Luc, a dangerously seductive incubus who has been trapped in the house by a fifty-year-old curse. To rid herself of her problem house guest she’ll call on a priest, gypsies, ghost hunters, and the coven of witches from lust bunny hell. All she has to do is resist him long enough to break the spell so they can go their separate ways. If she doesn’t, she could die. And that would be the best case scenario."

I had planned to read the first chapter and then finish another book in my to-read pile, but Save My Soul would not go down without a fight. It started as a haunted house mystery, morphed into a steamy paranormal romance, and finished strong with an ending that wrapped up all the plot threads in a nice, neat, sexy bow of snarky and surprising fun.

The plot is engaging. The sex scenes are hot and full of tension. The prose is tight and laugh-out-loud funny in places.

My only regret is that I tore through this book in barely two days and now have to wait for the next book in the Preternaturals series.

Physics. What a pain.

Forget the stars on this one. Remember that scene in Buffy the Vampire Slayer in which Buffy and Spike have crazy sex so hard that they destroy a fucking building? Yeah you do. That was a great scene. I give Save My Soul five of those.

Public Display - Flash Fiction Dare

2011-04-19T14:33:00.000-05:00

Through an odd twist of events on Twitter, I found myself on the receiving end of a dare to write a scene containing an inappropriate bit of intamacy in a public place. This is my somewhat tardy entry for said dare.

Read this and let me know what you think. Then, be sure to visit the other guilty parties and their naughty short stories:

Anabel
http://nemone7.livejournal.com/

Monica
http://tinyurl.com/3cosltt

Public Display

Bruscetta’s was not an exclusive restaurant; it was an impossible restaurant. There was no sign outside, no number in a phone book, and a minimum one-year waiting list. Only twelve tables filled the dining area.

Lucky patrons met with the chef, Alberto, when they entered. He would speak with them for a moment and then bring them the best meal they had ever eaten with no guidance or menu whatsoever.

It was like magic.

On this particular evening twelve enchanted couples feasted on dishes of exotic duck, eggplant, steak, pasta, and seafood that had been swimming only hours earlier. They drank white and Merlot wines that were older than they were. They savored the food and tried to forget about the sobering bill to come.

It was a typical evening at an atypical restaurant.

That changed during the main course with the opening of the front door.

A woman stepped into the dim candlelight of the room. She was pale with long, black hair that flowed down her shoulders. Her simple yet elegant black dress draped just above her knees. She was beautiful with an air of fierceness that showed through her emerald eyes even in the darkness.

Her escort closed the door behind her and glanced around the room with the kind of steely indifference with which a wolf surveys a flock of sheep. Where she was beautiful and elusive, he was wild and aggressive. From his shaggy sideburns to his old leather jacket, he did not seem like the type to accompany the woman, especially to a place like Bruscetta’s.

Alberto greeted the pair with his melodic accent that had somehow remained unaffected by many years away from his homeland. He immediately placed a thirteenth table against the wall.

The two sat and stared at each other, oblivious to the rest of the room.

Given the usual difficulty in obtaining a table, there were a few murmurs of discontent among the other patrons at their arrival, but they kept their dissatisfaction as quiet as possible.

After a few moments, Alberto returned and placed a rack of lamb in front of the man and a single glass of blood-red wine in front of the woman.

The conversation among the other couples changed from delight over the food to open speculation about the newcomers. They weren’t famous. They didn’t seem to be foreign dignitaries or local politicians. It was finally decided that they must simply have been friends of the chef.

While reaching this consensus, the others continued to observe the couple. The pair spoke low and stared directly into each other’s eyes, smiling and laughing occasionally. The man ate the rack of lamb, quite savagely, never offering any to the woman.

She didn’t seem to mind his poor manners. In fact, at one point, she reached across the table and touched his hand while he ate. With her eyes closed, she giggled and licked her lips slowly. He chewed purposefully, savoring every taste of the succulent meat and watching her reaction. She closed her mouth and pouted, then touched her chest when he swallowed, urging him to take another bite.

She gulped a bit of the wine, spilling a little on her cheek. The man wiped it away with his fingers and she grabbed his hand and licked the wine from his skin while staring into his eyes.

A few of the other couples looked away.

She pulled his finger into her mouth and a drop of crimson ran down the man’s hand. Blood?

The woman’s surly companion groaned as if in reply to the unspoken question on everyone’s mind.

Yes, blood.

The couples who looked away before, now looked on without hesitation.

The man reached under the table and grasped the woman’s chair. She released his hand with a purr and he effortlessly dragged her chair around until she sat right next to him.

He put his arm around her and leaned closer. She looked away and took a sip of wine. He smiled at her avoidance and touched her knee. Fingers slid up her alabaster skin and under her silk dress. A hint of smile crossed her lips as he leaned closer, brushing his oddly sharp teeth against the nape of her neck.

She turned back to him and shifted her body to face his. She crossed her legs and then brushed the calf of her dangling left leg gently over his groin.

The man growled audibly.

Then, they kissed. It was no quick peck of affection. It was the long, slow, lingering kiss of two lovers who knew what they wanted and were prepared to take it if necessary, regardless of the audience.

When they stopped, the man placed a wad of hundred dollar bills on the table and stood, still staring at the woman, feasting on her with his gaze. She smiled, relishing in the power she seemed to have over him.

She stood as well and rubbed her shapely backside against the prominent bulge on full display in the front of his trousers, drawing another growl from him.

They quietly left, leaving a room full of gaping jaws. A husband growled playfully at the wife. A girlfriend crossed her legs and brushed against the boyfriend.

Alberto returned and asked if anyone was ready for dessert.

Instead, twelve different couples all requested their checks as they suddenly had far better places to be.

India Drummond: Eight inappropriate questions with the Ordinary Angels scribe

2011-04-13T12:29:00.000-05:00

Today, I have the pleasure of interviewing India Drummond. Her debut novel, Ordinary Angels, is now available in eBook form everywhere.

Poor India. She agreed to answer my questions. Little did she know how little I know. I took this opportunity to ask her highly inappropriate questions about the angels in her story. Let the awkwardness commence.

India: I said I’d answer anything, and I meant it! Bring it.

MT: Your book brings angels down to Earth and puts them in the dirt with the rest of us. Do angels get tired of being thought of as chubby little winged babies flying around in cloth diapers or do they, in a freaky way, get off on it?

India: Understanding what angels are is a big part of the story. Zoe, the main character, has all the preconceived ideas, and Alexander, the main angel dude, has to tell her to forget everything she’s been taught, myths and Bible stories. I intentionally made angels unlike any human mythology. They’re part angel, part demon, part dragon… they are their own creatures and what humans know about them are all wrong. I love this because it let me write my own rules.

MT: How do angels feel about vampires? Do they watch reruns of Buffy or do they agonize over whether they are "Team Edward" or "Team Jacob"?

India: Alexander would probably like television! He’s fascinated with all things human. In my books though, there are no undead. There are ghosts, but these are human souls who got lost when they should have transitioned back to where they came from. The Higher Angels frown on human souls not being where they’re meant to be, and sometimes round them up. Scary thought, especially considering some of those spirits are Zoe’s friends.

MT: Will you be revisiting the Ordinary Angels world, or is this a stand alone novel?

India: The next novel in the series (which I think will be a trilogy) is called Familiar Demons, and it’s on the books for a 2012 release. It’s outlined and has a few chapters written, so it’s well on its way. This won’t be my next release though! I plan to release fantasy books in a couple of other worlds before I get to this sequel. I’m mean that way.

MT: Do angels poop? Wait. Don't answer that. That's a terrible question. Do they have sex?

India: Oh, do they ever have sex. Smouldering, saucy, and delicious. And something quite… unusual happens when they, ahem, reach their peak. This is definitely not a book for kids. Strong language and supernatural sizzle. It’s not classed as erotica, because the language used isn’t graphic. But the scenes themselves are quite spicy!

MT: Do angels have sideburns or other facial hair? I picture the archangels as having Sam Elliott paintbrush mustaches, even the female angels. Is this accurate or wishful thinking on my part?

India: They can change their appearance, so yes, they could have sideburns if they wanted to. Their basic physical structure stays the same, but they can wear their hair long or short, and change superficial things quite easily. That said, it is most definitely wishful thinking on your part!

MT: What is your next project after Ordinary Angels?

India: On June 1st I’ll be releasing Blood Faerie, an urban fantasy set in Perth, Scotland. It’s already back from the editor, so it’s just waiting for the proofreading and formatting stages! Later this year I plan to release Haywire Witch, the first in a series I’m calling “The Charms of Gerda Graves.” 2011 is a very busy year for me!

MT: Fuck it. I have to know. Do angels poop?

India: I never address it directly in the book, but I suppose I can give you the scoop. Eww, I wish I hadn’t said scoop.

At one point Zoe asks Alexander if he eats. He replies that he can, but he doesn’t have to. His friend and lawyer, a fallen angel named Thomas, runs a bar in realm outside the human world. So, we know for sure they drink too. I would say it’s safe to assume that the answer to the poop question is the same as the food question: they could if they wanted to, but I doubt they’d have to. Eating, like sex, is purely recreation for them (since they reproduce with each other differently than humans do—you’ll have to read Familiar Demons to find out more about celestial procreation), so it’s safe to say pooping would be, erm, purely recreational?

You win. Weirdest interview question ever. But I said I’d answer, and I’m a chick of my word.

MT: That you are! Thanks for playing along and best of luck.

India: Thanks so much for having me here today. It was great fun!

Highly offensive image of India as a werewolf angel. Note halo.

Author Bio:

India Drummond knew from age nine that writing would be her passion. Since then she's discovered many more, but none quite so fulfilling as creating a world, a character, or a moment and watching them evolve into something complex and compelling. She has lived in three countries and four American states, is a dual British and American citizen, and currently lives at the base of the Scottish Highlands in a village so small its main attraction is a red phone box. In other words: paradise.

The supernatural and paranormal have always fascinated India. In addition to being an avid sci-fi and fantasy reader, she also enjoys mysteries, thrillers, and romance. This probably explains why her novels have elements of adventure, ghosts (or elves, fairies, angels, aliens, and whatever else she can dream up), and spicy love stories.

Author website and blog: http://www.indiadrummond.com/

Facebook Fan Page: http://www.facebook.com/india.drummond.author

Twitter: http://twitter.com/IndiaDrummond

To arrange an interview or contact the author, please email: author@indiadrummond.com

Kiss Me, Kill Me Paranormal Anthology out now

2011-03-01T01:45:00.000-06:00

Much like Elvis, I have been taking care of business in a flash, as such:

Remember that time The King exploded out of a Fabergé egg? Yeah. Neither does he, but you can’t deny how fucking awesome it would be if he did.

I haven’t been mounting a comeback tour. I have been finalizing a short story for this anthology.

Head on over to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or Smashwords and check it out. It’s only $0.99 and the proceeds go to GreaterGood.org.

You’ll find shapeshifters, vampires, superheroes, demons, faeries, men and women of mystery, and leprechauns!

Okay, I’m lying about the leprechauns, but these stories contain all those other things and then some, all for less than the cost of a single can of Guinness.

Voyage into the realm of the paranormal with this nine author short story anthology. Sink your teeth into:

A Ghoulish Valentine by H.P. Mallory:

Dulcie O’Neil can’t help her attraction to Knight Vander, much though she tries to fight her feelings. When she begrudgingly accepts his invitation to dinner and a movie, the last thing she expects is that she’ll be defending herself against a cemetery full of hungry ghouls and one incredibly sexy man.

Cat Fight by Zoe Winters:

Cat Fight takes place in Zoe Winters’ “PretVerse”. Greta is a cat therian (shifter). She’s been involved with Dayne, a local sorcerer since she sought his protection from her murderous tribe. After a fight, Greta shifts into cat form and refuses to come back out.

Impulse Control by Susan Bischoff:

In the world of the Talent Chronicles, kids born with supernatural powers are taken from their families and forced into government research facilities called State Schools. At one such school, a group of Talents must work together to stop a dangerous experiment that’s already killed two of their peers and threatens others. If they’re caught they face Detention, and Detention at a State School has a whole different meaning.

Wild Passion by Lori Brighton:

James is a treasure hunter intent on collecting a deadly, priceless statue. Then he meets Adelaide, a stubbornly beautiful and mysterious woman who knows more about the statue than she admits. Suddenly, James is tempted to give up everything for the one treasure he can’t seem to own … Adelaide.

A Fairytale Ending by M.T. Murphy:

An unlucky actress discovers that there is no good and bad when it comes to vampires and werewolves, only bad and worse.

Blind Sight by Kait Nolan:

Isla’s ability as a Seer has made her a life-long captive of a paranormal crime lord. Fae assassin, Ransom, offers her a chance at escape, but when she touches his hand she sees only blood, horror, apocalypse. What reason can Ransom have for wanting to rescue her, and can she possibly trust a man who deals in death?

The Sacrifice by Toni LoTempio:

After a chance meeting with the mysterious Alfred Barstow, Jennifer is swept off her feet by his whirlwind courtship of her, so much so that she accepts his proposal of marriage. Leaving her boyfriend Peter behind, she heads off to start a new life in California, unaware there’s more to Alfred than meets the eye – and a sinister plot behind his proposal. The Sacrifice is a story about what happens when the man of your dreams turns out to be your worst nightmare…and then some!

Until the Breaking of the Day by Daniel Arenson:

The Underground. A realm of flame, blood, and knives in the dark.When its prince returns from exile, a young demon girl will learn his secrets.

If You Leave by Stacey Wallace Benefiel:

Despite their devotion to one another, Gabrielle and Jorge have been living separate lives. That is, until Gabrielle’s life ends. Reunited and it feels so…complicated?

"When in doubt, rip off Shakespeare" Interview at Para Your Normal

2011-01-31T23:27:00.000-06:00

Check out the audio archive of my Blog Talk Radio interview at Para Your Normal.

Why did I decide on the name Lucifera for my main character?

Is it it true that leprechauns have a restraining order against me?

Exactly how large is my head?

Hear me answer these questions and more with Para Your Normal hosts Andrew Mocete and Kelli McCracken.

The Exterminator - Flash, bizarro fiction

2010-12-21T14:25:00.001-06:00

I’m the best. That’s why they call me.

I knock. Ed opens the lid and ushers me inside. This is the second time I’ve paid him a visit.

“Thank you so much for coming out on a Sunday.” Ed says it like I’m doing him a favor.

“Thank me by paying me when the job is done.” It’s meaningless, but I say it anyway.

“You are one rude octopus,” he says.

“I’m not an octopus, you hippo,” I reply. “I’m a squid. Now show me what you’ve got.”

He takes me to the refrigerator.

“I keep hearing them in there. Every morning I find empty bottles and open snack wrappers strewn all around. Yesterday, I found a tiny dirty magazine out there, still open to the centerfold.”

The fridge is empty, but I hear it, too—tiny voices slurring and swearing. I was afraid of that.

I grab his droopy hippopotamus ear and drag his head down. The sound is louder there.

“What are you doing?” he screams.

“My job.”

It takes a minute, but I find the seam. Then I unzip his head. Five tiny little green-clad men are in there, laughing and kicking his tiny hippopotamus brain around like the terrible guests they are.

I slowly zip the head back up. Better safe than slimed.

“What was that, Joe?” Ed looks worried now. He damn well should be.

“Do you have whisky?”

“Yes.”

“Pour a shot.”

He does, spilling some on the counter with his clumsy hippopotamus hands.

I take the glass and smell it. It doesn’t burn any less now than it did when I used to swim in the stuff. I don’t miss the restaurant. Not even a little.

“You know, you are the spitting image of your—”

“Don’t mention my lazy brother, Ed. Do that and the deal is off.”

He wisely shuts up.

I place the dripping whiskey shot in the fridge and close the door.

“Now, do not open this door.”

“For how long?” he asks, already afraid of the answer.

“Forever.”

It is exactly what he doesn’t want to hear, but that is not my problem.

“I’ll take my payment now.”

He pulls out his oversized hippopotamus wallet and flips through, finding an arm. Then he digs in his pockets and locates a leg.

It takes a little shoving, but I fit them in my coin purse with the others.

“What happens now, Joe?”

“If you’re lucky, nothing. Bury the fridge in your cellar with the others, but keep it closed.”

“And if I don’t?” He wants to open it more than he wants to tap dance, and that’s a lot.

“Then one day somebody else will call me to exterminate a big, dumb hippopotamus wearing an ill-fitted green leotard. Is that what you want?”

His eyes cut away from mine.

“Maybe.”

“Do yourself a favor, Ed. Find yourself a nice girl or a tree and settle down. Have some babies or maybe some soup.”

Ed smiles. He closes his eyes and purrs like hippopotami often do.

I hit him across the head with a mackerel. He falls, dead.

I step back out of the shoebox. My client is there with all fourteen pairs of hands clasped in anticipation.

“Is it over?”

I nod, handing her the arm and leg.

“Here.”

She hands me a shrimp.

“This is too much,” I say.

“You are the best. I definitely received my invertebrate’s worth.”

I toss the monstrous thing on the back of my bicycle. It’s nice to be appreciated. I try to leave before she kills the mood.

“You know,” she says, “you look just like your brother.”

Great. I look just like my lazy, good-for-nothing, sleeps for eons in other people’s basements, cult of followers having brother. She not only killed the mood, she ran it over, helped it up, then dropped a grand piano on its cold, moldy corpse. If she weren’t a customer, I’d squirt ink in her eye.

“I leave you with a piece of friendly advice, Countess: Don’t open that fridge.”

Author Interview: Martin Millar - On lonely werewolf girls, vampire slayers, and the peril of wrestling Elizabethan playwrights

2010-12-17T12:33:00.003-06:00

Recently, I had the extreme good fortune to interview one of my favorite authors, Martin Millar. What follows is a rare treat. He was able answer my thirteen questions in a way that makes them seem as though they were actually intelligent, worthwhile queries. Though this is solely due to Martin's quick wit, I do not hesitate to take full credit for the quality of this interview.

Enjoy!

MT: First, an easy one. Which of these Internet created holidays do you prefer, "Talk Like A Pirate Day" or "Speak in Third Person Day"? And please demonstrate how one might ask for directions to the rest room on your chosen day.

Martin: Speaking in the third person would probably take less effort than talking like a pirate. All these 'Arrhh me hearties' would wear me out. Third person wouldn't wouldn't be that difficult to manage - 'Could you please show Martin to the rest room? He's in need of some freshening up.'

MT: The title of this blog is Werewolf Kibble, which is a reference to the things werewolves eat, such as tacos, ham sandwiches, small mammals, disagreeable vampires, and the occasional bowl of miso soup. I make no secret of the fact that Lonely Werewolf Girl is my favorite werewolf novel. While everyone else in the literary and film industries is neck deep in vampires, what is it about werewolves that captured your interest?

Martin: The first thing I thought of was the title, Lonely Werewolf Girl. The phrase was enough to get me interested. It started me wondering what a lonely werewolf girl might be like. It also struck me that, in obvious contrast to her loneliness, I could also write about a lot of other werewolves in a social setting, namely a clan, which was ideal for setting part of the book in Scotland, which I was also pleased to do. The book very quickly became a large saga, because of the amount of characters, and I liked that too.

I think werewolves have the capacity to be more human than vampires, which for me is more interesting. But really, the driving force was mainly that I thought I could write a good book about werewolves, whereas I'd have a difficult time coming up with anything original to say about vampires. I doubt I could come up with a better vampire than Spike.

I've never really seen why werewolves would necessarily be savage killers, unable to control their emotions when they change into werewolves. That doesn't really seem to follow along logically to me. I thought it quite likely that werewolves could manage to fit in with the rest of society, which most of my werewolves attempt to do.

MT: I have it on good authority that you are both a Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Spongebob Squarepants fan. Please rank these characters in order of who you would most want on your side in a barroom brawl:

Angelus, Patrick Starfish, Faith, Larry the Lobster, Squidward Tentacles, and Joyce Summers.

Martin: Faith - she's really tough and maybe we could go on a date afterwards. In fact, Faith was sexually aroused by fighting, and once practically dragged Xander into bed after she'd been involved in some violence, so she'd obviously be a good person to be in a fight with. Faith was so attractive. As, of course, is Eliza Dushku.

Angelus - Also tough, though I wouldn't want to be friends afterwards. I never really loved Angel as a TV show.

Patrick Starfish - he's practically invulnerable. I've seen terrible things happen to him in the cartoon and he just bounces back every time.

Larry the Lobster - He does weight training, but I don't think he's got the stomach for a fight.

Squidward - I sympathise with his intellectual leanings and artistic endeavours, though I can't see him being that much help in a fight.

Joyce Summers - Does have some hidden toughness - she did hit Spike with an axe on one occasion - but she was never that attractive a character.

(But really, we're missing the best option from SpongeBob - Sandy the underwater Squirrel. She's really tough)

MT: Through a twist of space and time, imagine you met William Shakespear in a pub one evening. After the inevitable wrestling match (It is a known fact that Shakespear had a brown belt in Jiu-Jitsu and liked to demonstrate his wrestling prowess in an attempt to impress the ladies whenever possible), which of your books would you suggest to the Bard for a rainy weekend read?

Martin: I'd be wary of wrestling an Elizabethan playwright, it could be dangerous. Christopher Marlowe ended up being stabbed through the eye. And in those days, in the shadowy theatrical and literary world, you never knew who might be a government spy.

I'd suggest to William Shakespeare that he never, ever looked at any of my books, so as he'd never know how inferior my writing was to his.

MT: What is the next book in your own "to read" pile?

Martin: Epictetus - Discourses and Selected Writings. Epictetus was a Greek stoic philosopher in the 1st century AD.

MT: The characters in Lonely Werewolf Girl and Curse of the Wolf Girl listen to an eclectic mix of music. If I were to sneak a peek at your current music playlist, what would I find?

Martin: T Rex, Slade, David Bowie - various English glam artists from the 70s. Also I listen to classical music on the radio.

MT: A friend told me that an open can of Guinness will draw leprechauns out if you have an infestation of the little buggers. Have you found this to be effective?

Martin: Well, this is more of an Irish question than a Scottish one, I have no real expertise in Leprechauns. Guinness may work in Ireland, but it would be an alien substance in Scotland, and might produce unforeseen consequences.

MT: If you could write a tale featuring any character at all, what character or characters would you write about? (Doctor Who episode, Batman comic, Sherlock Holmes story, Bleach story arc, Great Expectations sequel, etc.)

Martin: I'm having trouble answering this. Nothing comes very strongly to mind. I think I may have outgrown the enthusiasm I once had for many characters. Although I would still like to write a Buffy story.

To answer a slightly different question, if i was a writer at another time, I'd like to have been an Athenian playwright at the time of Aristophanes.

MT: In 200 years, a literature class is studying the collected works of Martin Millar / Martin Scott. What is the title of that course?

Martin: Minor Scottish Authors

MT: In Lonely Werewolf Girl, the title character is rude, brooding, self loathing, insecure, and neurotic, yet she still comes across as quite lovable. What was your inspiration for Kalix MacRinnalch, exiled daughter of the werewolf ruling family?

Martin: All of the rude, brooding, self loathing, insecure, and neurotic women I've had relationships with.

But seriously. She is just a figure from my own imagination. She has no real inspiration. However, most of her problems, neurosis and addictions are based on those of various people I've known.

MT: I love Anarchy in the U.K. by the Sex Pistols and I love the U.S. rock band Motley Crue. The Motley Crue cover of Anarchy in the U.K., however, makes me want to jam chopsticks in my ears. Why is that?

Martin: It just wasn't a suitable record for Motley Crue to cover. I think it was too far away in style and culture for them to understand it properly. Motley Crue singing about girls in LA is fine. There, they know what they're talking about. But Motley Crue trying to do justice to a record which really depended on it's 70s background of poor London council estates, strikes, inflation, and so on, filtered through the Sex Pistols' childhood in a country still affected by the post war poverty of the 50 and 60s, and then filtered again through the early 70s English music of The Faces, pub rock, and glam rock, was a big step too far for Motley Crue to manage.

Actually, Motley Crue make a spirited start in their version, but quickly run into trouble because they can't resist adding in flashy guitar solos. This is something you really can't have in 'Anarchy in the UK,' it destroys the whole concept of the record. After listening to Anarchy in the UK for the first time, you're meant to feel that you can immediately start your own band and make music, even if you don't know yet how to play an instrument. That feeling vanishes if the record is blighted with complicated guitar solos.

By extension of the above, listening to Anarchy in the UK can also make you feel that you can also go and write your own books, something it did for me.

MT: What is next for you on the writing front?

Martin: A Graphic novel set in ancient Greece, and probably a third werewolf book about Kalix.

MT: (In lieu of writing a response let the record show that I just did a backflip with a double twist at the mention of a third Kalix book. Hooray and ouch.) In closing, here is your chance to either reinforce or dispel a widespread stereotype about Scottish cuisine. Have you ever consumed a deep fried Mars candy bar and, if so, is it as wonderful as I imagine it would be?

Martin: No, I'd be scared to try it. I moved to London a long time ago, and while I remember Scotland as keen on it's deep fried fish and chips, I don't think the mania for frying such things as mars bars had arrived when I still lived there. I understand that anything can now be deep fried in Scotland, from chocolate to pizzas, but I've never tried any of this. It all sounds like a very bad idea to me, but I am ridiculously picky about the things I eat. My relationship with food is strained at the best of times, so I couldn't go around risking dangerous items like deep-fried mars bars.

MT: Thank you very much, Martin. On a scale from Angel Season 4 to Buffy Season 2, I rate this interview a Buffy Season 2 all the way.

Martin Millar is a critically acclaimed Scottish writer from Glasgow, now resident in London. He also writes the Thraxas series of fantasy novels under the pseudonym Martin Scott. He won the 2000 World Fantasy Award for the first book of the Thraxas series.

Connect with Martin on Twitter, his blog, and his website. Also, don't forget to pick up Lonely Werewolf Girl and Curse of the Wolf Girl.

If my endorsement isn't enough for you, see what a gentleman named Neil Gaiman has to say about Martin in the introduction he wrote for The Good Fairies of New York. Apparently, Mr. Gaiman dabbles in writing, too.

Afterlife: A bizarro tale of life, love and the hereafter or something.

2010-12-16T11:17:00.000-06:00

I lived a good life. Never hurt anyone. Minded my business.

I ate. I swam. I spawned.

Then, I died.

I can’t remember the details. The old memory isn’t so good, even now. I know I have crossed over, but I’m not sure where I am.

The water is cool and clear. There are no men with poles and hooks lurking about, so that is a huge plus. The stream is flowing and I have plenty to eat.

There is only one explanation for this: I am in Heaven. Salmon Heaven!

I will swim and eat forever. I bet the spawning grounds are just over the hill, too. I am going to fertilize eggs until I go cross eyed. Then I’ll eat and do it some more. This is exactly how I want to spend eternity.

I don’t see the bear until he has me in his paws, snatching me from my paradise.

“Wait,” I scream.

The bear holds me inches from his drooling mouth, puzzled.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

“There has been some mistake. You shouldn’t be here.”

The bear scratches his head.

“What do you mean?”

“This is the afterlife, yes?”

“Obviously,” they bear replies.

“I was swimming along, minding my business and heading to fertilize some eggs and you snatched me right out.”

“That I did. What’s the problem?”

The bear is obviously mentally deficient, so I spell it out for him.

“There are no bears in Salmon Heaven. I am not asking, I am demanding: Put me back in the water and leave at once.”

If I had a foot I would stamp it on the ground for emphasis. As it is, I slap his paw with my fin. The effect is the same.

“Mr. Salmon, there has obviously been some mistake.”

“Obviously,” I reply indignantly.

“I concur that, in Salmon Heaven, there should be no bears. You should be free to swim and fertilize eggs to your tiny salmon heart’s content.”

“I’m glad you see the issue. Now if you could just—”

“However,” the bear retorts, “you are not the injured party in this dispute.”

“Explain.”

“Though you are correct in your assumption that the likelihood of a bear being in Salmon Heaven is virtually nil, there is a fundamental flaw in your thinking.”

“And what might that be?” I ask. The bear fancies himself a thinker, this should be amusing.

“You, sir, are not in Salmon Heaven. I have been sitting in this spot for nearly twenty years eating your delicious brethren. In a few minutes I will make my way over the hill and spend the next twenty years mating and the following twenty years hibernating as I have done for as long as I can remember. Therefore, I can say with utmost confidence that this is, with no doubt whatsoever, Bear Heaven.”

“Oh my.”

“It’s pretty obvious.”

“Quite obvious, yes.”

“Yes.”

“Well, you can imagine my embarrassment.”

“I’m sure.”

“I am very sorry for my rudeness, Mr. Bear.”

“Think nothing of it,” he says. Bears are really quite civil once you get to know them.

“I suppose there is nothing left but to get on with it.”

“Quite right. I do apologize, but this might hurt quite a bit.”

“No apology needed. I am the injuring party here. Carry on.”

To his credit, the bear eats me as gently as such a thing can be done.

I can’t remember the details. The old memory isn’t so good, even now. I know I have crossed over, but I’m not sure where I am.

Now I am swimming once again.

Another stream, another chance. This surely the right place.

A human stands up ahead wearing those silly rubber pants they are so fond of, but he doesn’t worry me. I am far more interested in that delicious egg suspiciously drifting in the water in front of him. Any other time, I might be worried. Luckily, I am in Salmon Heaven.

I think I’ll take a bite.

Nonfiction: December 9, 2008

2010-12-14T01:50:00.000-06:00

Note: This is a departure from my usual satirical rambling, book and movie spotlights, and author interviews. My father passed away on December 9, 2008. This is what I remember about that day and his funeral.

***

“We did all we could. There is only so much the human body can take.”

The doctor kept talking but I zoned in and out after that. He was a nice guy. Friendly yet professional. At some point as he explained how kidney failure and the resulting toxin buildup in the blood—along with the half-dozen health problems Dad had—eventually caused his heart to just stop. That’s the real life definition of that fancy term “cardiac arrest.” After he said that, he laughed. I think I laughed and nodded, too. The doctor is the fast food chef of health care, and my Dad was a hamburger that couldn’t be salvaged.

I made the two hundred and sixty mile trip to Providence Hospital in a little over three hours when Mom called the night before. I cried the entire time because once I got there I would have to be the rock, and rocks don’t cry.

They let me in to see Pop after hours. His blood pressure was barely registering and he was already on a ventilator. It was the third time that I remembered him being on a ventilator. In the back of my mind I figured he’d wake up and snatch it out of his throat as he had done once before. Or, maybe that never happened. The mind goes to weird places when faced with something it doesn’t want to accept.

We were supposed to go into the intensive care unit and see him early that morning, but they asked us to wait outside for a few minutes. While we waited, a calm voice announced over the intercom that there was a “code blue” in intensive care. That’s more hospital talk for “somebody just died.”

By the time they let us back, the group of nurses and doctors who tried to save him were walking out, joking about what kind of crap they would be serving in the lunchroom. Dad was laying there, hands by his sides and eyes closed. His bed linens were neatly drawn up and tucked under his arms and sides. He would have looked like he was asleep, but nobody lies that still and straight.

Mom cried. I hugged her. She kissed Dad on the forehead and I did the same. I remember thinking he had only died a few minutes earlier but he was already so god damned cold.

We went to a little room by intensive care where they take people when a loved one has just died. A couple of nuns came to sit with us until the priest arrived. When he got there, he asked if he could say a prayer and we said we’d like that.

Some time in there, the rock broke and I cried a little. It didn’t last long. I couldn’t let it. I had to track down my brothers.

I called my older brother. He and Dad had their problems and he and I weren’t that close anymore either. I left a voicemail on his cell phone asking him to call me right away. Then, I called his office. The receptionist would give me no information whatsoever other than to say he was out of the office. In his rather public position there had to be some buffer, so I tried not to get offended, albeit unsuccessfully. I told her I was his brother and asked if she could convey a message. Her tone actually seemed to grow a little colder. Finally, she unenthusiastically decided she could give him a message. “Tell him his brother Mike called and our father just died,” I said. I can’t be sure, but I think I at least ruined her day. I really hope I did.

I called my eldest brother after that at the last cell number I had for him. Either it was out of service or I had the wrong number. We would later find out that he was getting ready to leave the country on a work assignment and coming to Pop’s funeral would have been a real inconvenience. I guess a phone call would have been just as inconvenient. He did send flowers though. Who sends flowers to their own father’s funeral? He does, I guess.

My older brother came as soon as he found out. It was good to see him and he was a big help. We talked like we did years before. We haven’t spoken since after the funeral.

The day before the funeral, we found out that one of the pastors we hoped could speak wouldn’t be able to attend. After a brief discussion, I decided to speak in his place.

I made a bunch of notes but never took them out of my pocket. I talked about how Dad was the most honest person I had ever met. He’d tell it like it was even if the truth wasn’t pretty, which was often the case. He served in the Navy during the Korean War and became a state trooper a few years after he returned home. To the day he died, more people knew him as Lieutenant Murphy than Tom.

I mentioned that he wasn’t fond of drawn out sermons or prayers, noting a funeral we attended when I was a kid. Halfway through a painfully long and sorrowful prayer by the presiding pastor, I heard someone start snoring. A split-second later, I realized it was Pop and elbowed him in the ribs. Those in attendance got a kick out of the story.

I thanked everyone for coming: all our friends and family, my friends and co-workers who shut our company down for the day just to make the trip, the Alabama State Troopers who had never met my dad but still felt compelled to make the trip to salute the fallen brother they had never met, the pastor who had come with my aunt to visit Dad in the hospital numerous times just because that’s what she did.

The Alabama State Honor Guard attended the graveside service. A trumpet player played Amazing Grace and seven troopers gave him a twenty-one gun salute. The local Freemason lodge performed a graveside service as well. Because we live in the digital age, the Honor Guard has a video crew that taped the service. Mom gave me a DVD a few weeks later. I still haven’t watched it.

The last time I spoke to Dad, we got in a fight over politics. We still said our I love you’s before we hung up, but we both were a little exasperated with each other. As was often the case, it eventually turned out that he was right and I was wrong. He wasn’t perfect, but he did the best he could and I loved him for it.

I’m not sure why I wrote this. I made peace with dad’s passing long ago. Maybe I just needed to see it in black and white, or maybe I still have a demon or two to exorcize.

Thanks for reading.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled leprechaun bashing, booze, and werewolves.

Choose Your Doom: Zombie Apocalypse by DeAnna Knippling & Dante Savelli - A zombiefied choose your own adventure style spatterfest

2010-12-08T15:55:00.000-06:00

Zombie Apocalypse is a throwback to the Choose Your Own Adventure books I grew up with. Instead of simply reading the story, you are given choices at certain intervals that allow you to direct the actions of tough guy slacker hero, Tobe, as he tries to protect his friends and fight off the zombie horde trashing his parents’ restaurant and, apparently, the rest of the city.

The story throws you directly into the action. Within the first few pages, zombies arrive and Tobe has to make multiple life or death decisions. Does he bash in the head of his former classmate turned zombie or does he run and hide?

Of course I chose to bash away. For me, it was a … NO BRAINER!

HAR!

I crack me up.

Virtually every choice you make leads to either the wet, gooey destruction of zombies or the death of friends and innocent victims. Like it plainly states on the cover, “No happy endings!”

Blood, zombie parts, and evil black ichor fly off of 190 fun and disturbing illustrations that play out the various scenarios presented in the text.

You might lead Tobe to become the champion of a rag tag group of survivors or you might see him infected by the undead, himself. If you’re lucky, you just might survive long enough to find the source of the zombie virus and save the day, but I doubt it. The ending is all up to you.

I highly recommend this fun and creative, yet disturbing trek through the Zombie Apocalypse.

Choose Your Doom: Zombie Apocalypse receives a rating of 5 Bruce Campbells!!

Lonely Werewolf Girl by Martin Millar - Seemingly, the test tube book baby of several of my favorite writers.

2010-12-07T14:39:00.000-06:00

If Douglas Adams and Anne Rice had a little werewolf book baby that was later raised by Neil Gaiman, that baby would grow up to be Lonely Werewolf Girl by Martin Millar.

The sheer size of this book intimidated me more than a little. It weighs in at well over five hundred pages, yet I tore through it faster than most three hundred pagers. Why? Because the action and humor never lets up.

Kalix is easily the loneliest and most depressed little werewolf ever. She is also the exiled princess of the royal werewolf clan MacRinnalch of Scotland. Despite her wispy frame and emo exterior, Kalix is among the most powerful werewolves in existence. She wanders the streets of London, drowning her numerous sorrows and avoiding death at the hands of werewolf hunters or family members who seek to shore up their claim to the throne after their father's death.

She is befriended by a pair of human students, Daniel and Moonglow, who are sucked into the world of werewolf political assassinations, high fashion espionage, and rock and roll.

The cast of characters numbers in the dozens. There are treacherous werewolf aristocrats, noble outcasts, would-be rockers, powerful warlords, fashionista fairy queens, seedy supernatural relic dealers, and a cross-dressing werewolf warrior-prince. The vast majority of these players are morally ambiguous. They each experience flashes of good and moments of pure evil that keep the story moving. Their goals may be simple, but their motives, alliances, and actions are anything but.

Though the book is quite lengthy, the text is broken up into chapters of usually two to three pages. This structure is ideal for reading in five or ten minute stretches if you are like me and are forced to resort to guerrilla reading sessions as time permits.

Lonely Werewolf Girl is my new favorite werewolf novel. I’m trying to get away from stars, but if you need one for this review, I give it the Super Mario Brothers invincibility star as follows:

Inappropriately short bizarro story: The Defender

2010-12-06T13:51:00.001-06:00

“How long do we wait?”

“As long as it takes.”

Steve doesn’t like my answer. I didn’t expect him to. He’s a rookie.

Hours go by. Maybe days.

Steve fidgets. He walks across the ceiling. He complains about things.

I don’t listen. I don’t move either. Too distracting.

Steve follows my advice and calms the fuck down after all of creation starts shaking. He wants to ask me what is happening, but the look on my face stops him. I am master of the eight-eyed stare.

Darkness envelops the vast basin. Horrible sounds echo. Wailing follows roaring which, in turn, follows the sounds of crashing and folding of materials we cannot comprehend. The darkened sky opens and evil rains down.

We watch, protected by the ivory shield above us.

Below, the dam breaks, sending an endless flood of water to wash away the impurity that fell from the sky. The endless flood stops, proving me wrong again.

The sky clears. Rather, the great behemoth that covered it moved on.

“What the hell was that?” Steve asks. He’s nearly crying. Damn rookies.

“That was Earl. He’s the reason we’re here.”

I leap down the edge of our perch and wait. Steve is tentative. He stares down at me for a very long time. Then, he follows. He’s learning.

“Okay, it’s about to happen. Just observe.”

Steve obeys.

We sit in the shadow of the white mountain and wait.

We can’t see the top of the sheer structure in front of us, but a seam appears right down its middle. Half of the wall moves silently out, creating a gateway into the darkness.

Five fingers reach through and push the opening wider. The thing isn’t as big as Earl, but it is easily ten thousand times my size.

The hideous beast steps out from the shadows on two legs. Its two circular eyes dart around, looking for something to steal or looking for me. We have played this game before more times than I can remember.

The thing grows bold, sneaking out of its hiding place to wreak havoc.

Steve quivers.

“What do we do?”

“Just watch,” I say. Damn rookie.

I move with all of my considerable speed right for the monster’s path. I stop and stare.

The thing freezes. It wants to kill me. It wants to lift its armored foot and crush me into paste.

“Blimey,” it roars. “You little fuckers piss me right off.”

I don’t reply. I am master of the eight-eyed stare.

“I could do it you know,” it bellows, “just one stomp is all it would take. I’d end you and have the place to meself.”

“We both know that won’t happen.” I sound like what I am: the defender who protects the behemoth.

The thing jumps up and down, moving dangerously close to me in the process. Despite the shaking ground, I do not move. It’s all just posturing.

When it tires of its fit, it slinks back into its cavern defeated, and closes the gate behind it.

Steve rushes to my side.

“What was that thing?”

“That is Earl’s adversary. We protect him from that.”

“Is it the only one?”

“No. There are many that we know of. That is why we need you. You must protect the land below. We hear another is encroaching and I cannot be in all places at once.”

He trembles. I know the look. He’s so damn scared he wants to curl up and play dead.

“Steve, relax. It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad?” He’s frantic. It’s a lost cause. I’ve lost him already. “I can’t do this.”

He runs as fast as all of his legs will carry him. Instead of staying in the shadows like I taught him, he runs right through the center of the field of squares.

“Steve, don’t.”

Neither of us feel Earl’s approach. He moves with a speed that frightens me, still. His own gargantuan foot crushes Steve before he even sees it coming.

Poor Steve. Maybe he was the lucky one.

Earl sighs with relief and removes Steve’s remains before retreating back to the vast plateau on which he sleeps. He feels better, which comforts me a little.

Sometimes I wish I could warn Earl about the leprechaun, but that’s not how it works. I’m a defender. I defend. I don’t tattle on my enemies.

Despite Earl’s great power, he is surprisingly fragile. I don’t think he could take it. He needs me. He needs my people.

Now, I need to find another rookie.

Bizarro soup for the fractured soul: Fungus of the Heart by Jeremy C. Shipp

2010-12-06T11:56:00.000-06:00

Fungus of the Heart is a collection of stories by Bram Stoker Award nominee, Jeremy C. Shipp. The tales take place in worlds similar to our own, but offer a twisted reflection of the reality we live in.

Undead ambassadors lurk just outside the suburbs. A powerful protector will kill anyone he has to kill to see his lost love, or will he? A ghost works as a human whisperer. An anthropomorphic walrus and a dead bear mend the hearts of the world one poacher at a time.

Each of the thirteen tales is unified by the theme of heart.

Fire, water, wind, and earth are thankfully absent.

Maybe the author had a definite meaning for these stories. Maybe he didn’t. It doesn’t matter.

This is the world of Bizarro fiction.

When reading this book, you will see what you want to see: yourself, your neighbor, your dog. Reading the same story twice will produce two distinct experiences and emotions. No one will have the exact same journey as anyone else.

If fiction that follows the conventions of “normal” stories is the only thing you want to read, then stay away from this book. If you read it, you will be confused, challenged, and possibly even entertained.

The author has a website with a link to several of his short stories free online. Go there. Test the waters. If you don’t run away screaming or stamp away in disgust, then you probably want to read more. Fungus of the Heart is a great place to start.

I don’t give stars on my reviews anymore. If I did, I’d give this one a Vega, which is nothing to sneeze at.

Author Interview: S.D. Anderson - author of The Devil's Angel and computer faith healer

2010-12-01T01:18:00.002-06:00

I have been friends with fellow author S.D. Anderson for several years. Because she has grown somewhat comfortable with me, she foolishly agreed to this interview in the wake of releasing her first full-length novel, The Devil's Angel.

What follows is not for the faint of heart. Be advised, the C-bomb is dropped more than once.

MTM: First, an easy one: If you had to pick one and only one X-mas party to go to, whose party would that be: Vampires, werewolves, zombies, demons, leprechauns, feral gerbils, or the Cthulhu cultists?

SDA: HAHA! Can you believe that I had to look up Cthulhu Cultists? Shows you how sheltered I am! Anyway… First choice would be Vampires of course. I find it hard to believe that zombies would be good hosts, and leprechauns and gerbils make me want to do bodily harm to small children and Robert Pattinson. And well… Demons and Werewolves would be a distant second.

MTM: Your new book, The Devil's Angel, is now available all over the internet and at the little shop where I purchase my sideburn wax. How long have you been writing in the dark world of vampires, werewolves, and demons?

SDA: Do you really buy sideburn wax? HAHAH!

I found my love for the dark stuff almost 6 years ago, which was also when the birth of the lead character came about. Wow, can’t believe it’s been that long already. ;)

MTM: I predict the next hot fiction genre to be zombie love stories. Can you pitch me a hot synopsis for a zombie tale about two star-crossed, shambling, angsty, flesh-eating teens that I can plagiarize and use to finance my unhealthy obsession with potted meat from around the world?

SDA: I know it doesn’t really fit with the genre I’ve chosen to tell my stories in but I am not a zombie fan. I would be the worst person to pitch an idea on it because for me I have to at least enjoy it or see it as something I would like to have happen… zombies irk me for some weird reason. I mean if I wanted a guy that was falling apart, smells bad, and mumbles incoherently I can think of a few exes I’d go back to first. HAHA!

MTM: As we all know, the devil rarely leaves his winter home in Newark to mingle with the rest of us. What is it about the prince of darkness (not Ozzie, the other one) that captured your interest?

SDA: Great question and one I love answering. I believe it mainly stems from me being the black sheep in a religious family and wanting to see how far I could push the envelope. I tell people this book is my rebellion. Saying Lucifer or talking about the Devil was akin to saying Voldemort in my house growing up (Yea, yea, shout out to the HP fans hehe). But for the same reason that people love vampires, I love the mythology about Lucifer. Now I am not saying I have dark altars in my house or anything but I love what society has created him to be. I find it sexy as hell and very intriguing because the truth is no one alive today really knows. I wanted to portray him in such a light that you love to hate him but you know without a doubt women would sell their souls to him without a second thought.

I get into debates with my father and one of the biggest debates is religion because I tend to take opposing sides for the hell of it. The biggest kicker to me and what I love throwing at the fanaticals is this: If God made everything, and we are in fact made in his image, then does it stand to reason that he created Evil? Think on that one. It’s like the chicken and the egg, there is no wrong or right answer.

MTM: A fan sent me a picture of a tattoo from a passage in my book. Actually, it was just the copyright symbol on a really old guy's elbow, but still, I was honored. Are you looking forward to being so popular that fans have excerpts from your book tattooed on their bodies?

SDA: I have said for awhile that I don’t really want the fame. I don’t want to not be able to walk down the street without someone stopping me etc. I know without a doubt that I would become a hermit because I don’t do well with crowds and people bugging me haha. But that being said, yea that would be cool. When I write dialogue or something like that, there are several lines that ring loud to me and would be something even I would get tattooed because in my head they are epic quotes.

MTM: I have started asking everyone this question. Sam Elliott’s wooly mustache or Hugh Jackman’s wolverine lambchops? (Don't worry. There is no wrong answer here, but two talented actors' facial hair may be at stake.)

SDA: Hugh Jackman hands down. You have to think about kissable factor. Well not you but from a female perspective. I don’t want to be kissing something that furry. Sideburns are better. And let’s face it. Hugh Jackman is a babe. I need to go watch Wolverine again. *bites fist*

MTM: What book or books are you reading right now?

SDA: Actually I am not reading anything at the moment. I have two that I am planning on starting here within the next few weeks once I get publishing out of the way. They are Grey Dogs by Ian Sandusky and My Partner’s Wife by Michael Glenn Yates

MTM: Finish this scene: "Edward Cullen bumps into Devrynne Kaine, main character from The Devil's Angel, and spills his tomato juice on her new evening gown."

SDA: She would of course grab him and glare at him in fine bitchy fashion and then whoop his ass. Finishing line would be something along the lines of… “Only fairies sparkle you moron.”

MTM: I sometimes read passages of my writing to my Schnauzer and ask him what he thinks of it. I always take his silence to mean that it is the best prose he has ever encountered with his Schnauzer ears. What are some of your guilty pleasures?

SDA: Oh lordy… Adam Lambert is probably the one I’d get teased for the most. My daughters got me hooked on him and I will admit to being very taken with the man. Aside from that it would have to be my TV shows… Vampire Diaries and Supernatural. I’m a total fangirl at heart. Oh and Billy The Exterminator. Hate bugs but love that man!

MTM: You may already know that I am something of a profanity enthusiast. I have discovered that when one woman intensely dislikes another, they often use the term, "cunt," which I find both fascinating and heart-warming. What is your favorite curse word and why?

SDA: Ooooh. You said the C word!!! Nickel in the swear jar! HAHAHA! I only use Cunt when I’m extremely pissed at someone, and it is still very rare. The one that I use the most is probably a tie between Cockwhore and Douchnozzle. I use those quite liberally. Love the way they roll off my tongue. Cockwhore came about by accident. I was pissed off at someone from back in the hayday of my Myspace roleplayer days and was on the phone venting to my sister about it. Meant to say cock sucking whore and that came out instead. We both giggled hysterically over it and I’ve used it ever since. Douchnozzle was said on an episode of Supernatural and I’ve used it not so lovingly to refer to an ex ever since.

MTM: I am quite fond of first person point of view in writing. Then, I also like to scream at mailboxes and dare them to cross me, which they almost never do. Could you tell me about why you chose to write The Devil's Angel in first person and what it is that draws you to that style?

SDA: Mailboxes huh? So you’re threatened by stationary objects… *makes mental note* Moving on hahaha…I remember reading books and they were ALL in third person. I found it hard to relate to it. Then I came across one of my first 1st person written books and loved it. I connected with it because I like getting lost in a story and it allowed me to do that. When you’re reading along it’s hard to keep all the He’s and She’s and They’s from becoming a jumbled mess of confusion. First person is easier because it’s allowing the reader to read it as if they’re in their shoes.

Now I can write in third person, most if not all of my stories have started as third person until I get a good grasp on the character and can connect with them. I’ll just be in the middle of a chapter and without realizing I will switch to 1st person. That’s when I know it’s time to go back and redo the beginning and that the connection has been made.

MTM: As you know, I have a lifelong feud with the leprechauns. To my great satisfaction, I found out that the company that produces the print version of my novel uses real leprechaun tears in their ink. Were any leprechauns harmed in the making of The Devil's Angel? (please say yes)

SDA: Well here’s the deal. They creep me out. They are wicked little beings that are usually up to no good. Stupid little pots of gold no one can find… rubbish I tell you. HAHA. No, unfortunately, no Leprechauns were harmed in the making of the Devil’s Angel. Perhaps I can plot their demise in the sequel? *insert maniacal laughter here*

MTM: With the release of The Devil's Angel, you are one step closer to the goal all writers share: world domination and all the free turkey jerky and Guinness we can consume. What is the next step of your plan? If that information is top secret, what other projects are you working on?

SDA: You can keep the Guinness. Hehehe. Um… world domination wouldn’t be cool… I’d be terrible because the power would go to my head and I’d inevitably start making people worship me and wear really bad mullets. *shudders*

I am actually working on multiple things. I stayed with the first book and that was all I worked on because I was afraid that I wouldn’t finish if I didn’t. Now that I have one under my belt it’s a lot easier to jump around to whatever I’m in the mood to write.

The first and foremost is the sequel to this book called The Devil’s Apprentice. It takes place about a year after The Devil’s Angel ended. It’s the middle of at least a three part series about Devrynne’s life and the people in it. The third one is called The Devil’s Downfall (detecting a pattern here?) and it takes place 18 years after the end of the second and is not so much tied with the main story of the first two so I’m writing it as well. Mainly in pieces that don’t tie into the focal points on the first two.

Also I have been playing around with something completely out of the paranormal/horror genre, something a little closer to personal for me called Address in the Stars. I find it hard to work on this piece because it is tied very closely to things in my life that are still a little too close for comfort, so it is slowly coming along.

There is another small one that is just taking shape that has no title yet and is not in the paranormal/horror realm either. This is another taboo/rebellion piece as well because of what it’s about that deals very closely with a woman who decides to have a child for her best friend who is a gay male. It focuses very closely on relationships within the woman’s life being severed because of her choices that goes against her family’s religious beliefs.

The other big piece I’m working on is called The Curse of Katia DuFresne. It is centered around a supporting character from The Devil’s Angel, Cash Montgomery. Whether this will turn into a full length novel is unknown. I’m aiming for novella but as you can tell I do so love to ramble so it could be the full length novel by the time it’s done.

MTM: I look forward to reading it. I also look forward to using cockwhore and douchenozzel as liberally as I can this holiday season.

Big thanks to S.D. Anderson for enduring thirteen questions worth of my disjointed thought process. Her new book, The Devil's Angel, is available now.

Don't be a douchenozzel. See it. Read it. Live it.

Connect with S.D. Anderson

Looking for a few good beta readers / The traits of a good beta reader

2010-11-30T16:32:00.000-06:00

Earlier this week, Michele Shaw posted an excellent article about beta readers on her blog. If you haven’t read it, please check it out.

Beta readers are given the task of examining an author’s work in process and offering constructive advice concerning plot, prose, structure, and virtually every aspect of a manuscript. They do this for no pay, few accolades, and often little more than the satisfaction that they kept an author from looking like a total moron.

Good beta readers are like the ground crew that checks out a commercial jet before it takes off. The passengers usually don’t even see them, but, the fact that the plane is able to take off and land without losing a wing or running out of gas means that they did their job.

In case you are wondering, readers equate to passengers in that analogy.

What?

No, you can’t be the pilot.

This is my blog, so I am the pilot, dammit. Get your own jet.

Sorry. I was rambling. I’m a rambler.

I have had the good fortune of interacting with several fantastic beta readers. Here is my list of traits they all share:

1. Brutal honesty.

This is why it is difficult for friends to beta read. If a passage makes you want to set fire to the manuscript and bury the remains in a haunted pet cemetery so the thing can rise as an evil doppelganger thus giving you the chance to kill it again, then the author needs to know that. It can be sugar coated or dipped in vinegar, but that is information they need.

2. Fresh ideas.

Sometimes an interesting idea makes it into a manuscript but is never fully explored. A good beta reader can pick up on an orphan idea and give the author a nudge to feed and water it until it grows into big plot lizard that eats the weak story threads and poops out 24 karat gold rubix cubes! It’s a fact.

3. Ability to see both the big picture and the details.

Picking out an author’s tendency to overuse the phrase “he smirked” is an example of good detail observation. Pointing out that a character is always smiling and giddy despite the majority of a story involving them being in a state of utter despair is a great big picture observation. A beta reader who can point out both of those things is worth his or her height in Guinness.
Yes, height.

4. Understanding of the genre and writing style of a given work.

A reader who enjoys historical fiction probably shouldn’t beta read a futuristic sci-fi tale. A fan of gothic horror might like a romance book, but the odds of that are not great. A good beta reader knows what they like and can offer great advice for someone writing a book in a genre they enjoy.
Think you have what it takes to be a beta reader, lil' buckaroo? Prove it.

I am looking for several beta readers to test drive a horror/urban fantasy short story I am working on for an upcoming anthology. If you are into vampires and werewolves who act like monsters instead of lovesick emo adolescents and you want the chance to help make a soon to be published story as good as it can be, send me a message.

authormikemurphy@gmail.com

Keep in mind, I am my own biggest fan so I already know how awesome I am. If my head were any bigger, it would require a signal light for passing planes. I need someone who is not afraid to tell me what sucks about the story so I can make it better.

I also need some Cheezits, because Cheezits are fantastic, but you let me worry about those.

Now that my pitch is out of the way, are there any beta readers out there who want to share their thoughts and experiences in beta reading?

How about authors, have you had any shockingly good or horrifyingly bad beta readers?

Also, do Schnauzers make good beta readers? If so, I know a guy.

Author Interview: Jeremy C. Shipp, Bram Stoker nominee and giant gnome king

2010-11-26T00:25:00.002-06:00

How many Bram Stoker Award nominated authors would be willing to subject themselves to thirteen asinine, moronic, borderline psychotic questions from yours truly? I can think of only one: Jeremy C. Shipp.

He is the dark Elvis/giant gnome king of Bizarro fiction and a nice guy to boot. My review of his latest work, Fungus of the Heart is forthcoming. I'll give you a spoiler: it is bizarre and fantastic.

MTM: Welcome, Jeremy. I have many earth-shaking questions, so I'll jump right in before you change your mind.

I have an uneasy truce with the spiders, but I hate leprechauns with every fiber of my appendix. Does this make me a hypocrite?

JCS: I don’t think so. For the most part, spiders are compassionate, trustworthy creatures who’d give you the shirts off their backs, if they weren’t nudists. Leprechauns, on the other hand, steal gold jewelry and fillings from tourists and sell their loot on the black market so that they can buy double rainbow shotguns, which they use to hunt baby manatee angels. Not cool.

MTM: For someone new to Bizarro fiction, such as the writer of this blog, what does one need to know before delving into your stories?

JCS: If you're a fan of Terry Gilliam, Takashi Miike, David Lynch, then you’d most likely enjoy Bizarro fiction. I write bizarre, dark tales with a heart. My tales are funhouse mirror reflections of our own world. And so, the realities I create are familiar and unfamiliar all at once.

MTM: Pick three favorite stories from your own writing. Which one would you eat first and why?

JCS: If we’re talking short stories, three of my favorites are Camp, Boy in the Cabinet, and The Sun Never Rises in the Big City. I’d definitely eat Boy in the Cabinet first, because the story includes mason jars full of fruit preserves and pickled delicacies. And I would refuse to eat Camp, because I’m vegan.

MTM: The title of your new work, Fungus of the Heart, is both sweet and vaguely repulsive. Oddly enough, my wife sometimes uses those same terms to describe me: sweet and vaguely repulsive. Why did you decide upon that as the title?

JCS: I chose Fungus of the Heart, because I find the image to be emotionally evocative and I find the idea to be thematically fitting. Characters throughout the collection have fungi growing in their hearts. My characters suffer from the fungus of loneliness, the fungus of heartbreak, etc.

MTM: You have mentioned in previous interviews concerning your work that Vacation is a map to your brain, Sheep and Wolves is a map to your fears, and Cursed is a map to your heart. Where does Fungus of the Heart fit in that respect and are you worried that someone will use those maps to break in and make a bunch of long distance phone calls while you are away?

JCS: Fungus of the Heart is a map to my relationships. Of course, the relationships in these stories don’t reflect my relationships in a literal sense. Instead, my relationships spawned questions in my mind, which ended up inspiring stories. Some of these questions: how far would I go to save the life of a loved one? What is love without respect? What is true friendship? As for the second part of your question, I’m not too worried about humans breaking in and making long distance phone calls. The attic clowns would probably devour their souls before they could talk for very long.

MTM: Sam Elliott’s wooly mustache or Hugh Jackman’s wolverine lamb chops?

JCS: In a battle to the death, Hugh Jackman’s lamb chops would definitely end up devouring the mustache, as the lamb chops are actually Tasmanian devils.

MTM: What book or books are you reading right now?

JCS: The Kitchen God’s Wife by Amy Tan, Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad, Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins, and a few others.

MTM: Finish this scene: “Cthulhu, Michael Myers, and Bruce Campbell walk into a bar.”

JCS: Bruce Campbell says, “Why the long face?”
Michael Myers says, “Damn. Don’t tell me I accidentally put on my horse mask again.”
And Cthulhu laughs. Not because he finds this bar situation funny, but because he always laughs a little before destroying a world.

MTM: I like to put a pair of glasses on my Schnauzer and pretend he is James Lipton interviewing me. What are some of your guilty pleasures?

JCS: Too much peanut butter, Taylor Swift music, Project Runway, dressing up as an attic clown and laughing at myself for hours on end.

MTM: One of my favorite profane terms is “fecktwat.” I try to use it every chance I get in my writing. Not coincidentally, I am no longer allowed to contribute to my kids’ school paper. What is your favorite curse word and why?

JCS: My favorite swear words are “holy mackerel!” and “dagnabit!” I love fake swear words that make me feel like an old cartoon character.

MTM: The best way I can describe the stories collected in Fungus of the Heart is to say it feels like I am reading a Salvador Dali painting. Is there ever a time when you are not taking mental notes and giving slow birth to a bizarre or heart warming tale?

JCS: I have a feeling that my subconscious is always coming up with new stories, even when I’m busy canning pickled delicacies or trying to protect baby manatee angels from leprechauns wielding double rainbow shotguns.

MTM: Your novel, Cursed, was nominated for the Bram Stoker award. Congratulations! I picture the ceremony being held in an ancient Romanian castle with at least one hundred Bela Lugosi clones wearing the full Dracula costume in attendance. How accurate is this?

JCS: There were actually only ninety Bela Lugosi clones, and they all had wolverine-style lamb chops. The ceremony was held in an ancient Tasmanian castle. I still don’t understand why.

MTM: Barring some sort of apocalypse or Attic Clown takeover of literature, what is next for you after Fungus of the Heart?

JCS: Strangely enough, my next project is an Attic Clown takeover of literature. I’m also working on my first middle grade fantasy novel, as well as a few other projects. Hopefully next year I’ll be able to start production on my Charles in Charge musical starring Cthulhu as Charles and James Lipton as Buddy.

MTM: There is nothing about your answer that I do not love with all my pancreas.

Big thanks to Jeremy for being a great sport and taking time out of his crazy, honeybee-like schedule for this interview.

Click here for a collection of Jeremy's online short stories, then pick up his latest book, Fungus of the Heart.

From the author's web page:
Jeremy C. Shipp is the Bram Stoker nominated author of books such as Cursed, Vacation, and Fungus of the Heart. His shorter tales have appeared or are forthcoming in over 50 publications, the likes of Cemetery Dance, ChiZine, Apex Magazine, Pseudopod, and Withersin. Jeremy enjoys living in Southern California in a moderately haunted Victorian farmhouse called Rose Cottage. He lives there with his wife, a couple of mighty cats, and a legion of yard gnomes. The gnomes like him. The clowns living in his attic--not so much.
Feel free to contact Jeremy via email at: chrismatrix@yahoo.com

Jeremy as a poorly rendered werewolf.

November and December - More fun stuff than you can shake a leprechaun at

2010-11-22T14:33:00.000-06:00

It goes against my chronic laziness to take on more projects than I can comfortably accomplish. This holiday season I'm making an exception. Here is what I have coming down the pipe:

November 26: Interview with Jeremy C. Shipp, Bram Stoker Award nominee and author of "Fungus of the Heart," "Vacation," "Sheep and Wolves," and "Cursed." His writing is so bizarre that it makes Bizarro Superman look like ...well ... regular Superman.

December 1 (tentative): Interview with S.D. Anderson, author of dark fiction/urban fantasy tale The Devil's Angel. See what she really thinks about the new zombie romance genre I just created from spare bits of irony and sarcasm I had lying around.

I am hoping to schedule a few more interviews as well. Here's hoping my intended targets don't read this blog or my tweets. They'd be scared off by such a high level of awesomeness. Or maybe the sideburns.

I have read, am reading, or will read several good books in the coming weeks and post reviews.

Reviews:
Lonely Werewolf Girl by Martin Millar (Finished - review to come)
Fungus of the Heart by Jeremy C. Shipp (getting there - like a brain massage with chopsticks)
The Devil's Angel by S.D. Anderson (Finished - review to come)
Becoming an Indie Author by Zoe Winters (About halfway - great guide)
Choose Your Doom: Zombie Apocalypse by DeAnna Knippling and Dante Savelli (about 2/3 through this choose your own adventure-style book and loving it)
Must Love Dragons by Monica Marier (looking forward to reading. MC's name is Linus Weedwhacker. She had me at the name)
Matilda Raleigh: Invictus by Chris Kelly (starting soon. Who can resist a 70 year old heroine with demonic pistols? not me)

Writing:
I am finishing up a short story for an anthology to be released in February with a few other authors. The story will focus on my main characters from Lucifera's Pet. I'll send more details as I have them.
My All Hallows novella is progressing nicely. It is about 50% done. Still on pace for a late Spring release.
The follow-up novel to Lucifera's Pet is about 25% done. I am holding off on finishing that until All Hallows is completed. Stay tuned.

It's almost Thanksgiving here and you know what that means. It's time for me to buy my annual bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey to enjoy after the Turkey Day festivities. I am significantly less hard than such a manly bottle of booze would indicate. In reality, it will last me until next Thanksgiving, if not a little longer.

Have a happy holiday season, all.

Remember, leprechauns make excellent Christmas gifts, particularly in jerky form.

Lucifera's Pet: unpublished and unedited prologue

2010-11-10T12:24:00.000-06:00

What follows is the unedited, unpublished, and nigh unreadable prologue for my novel, Lucifera's Pet. I am posting this for those of you who have already read the book and those of you who get a kick out of bad writing. I actually wrote this nearly a year before I decided to write the novel.

The events depicted in this prologue happen shortly before the novel, but I thought it best to just throw the reader into the story without providing this bit of background. More fun that way.

Plus, this is just really, really bad. Like, eyes bleeding kind of bad. I don't mean Evil Dead 2 so bad it's good kind of bad. No. We are talking Ishtar bad.

That being said, please enjoy!

Prologue

Five blocks. That is how far my apartment is from the theatre. In broad daylight, I would think nothing of walking the sidewalk back there after a movie. At night, the idea doesn’t exactly thrill me. My friend Danielle just had to go to the late show tonight, though. Pushover that I am, I couldn’t just say “no.” I had already shot down her last two offers for girls’ night out, and I knew that one more rejection would mean I lost my spot in our little clique.

The plastic surgeon’s office where I work as the receptionist / bill collector, is another ten blocks in the opposite direction. On occasion, I have spent the night in the makeshift apartment that Dr. Denton has for when he finds the need to work extra late. It has been nice on those nights where the girls and I have found ourselves out on the town with a few too many martinis under our collars.

I would like to think that I am pretty. I mean, would a plastic surgeon hire someone to be the face that greets his clients if he didn’t think she was at least reasonably attractive? His offer to supplement my meager salary with “a nip here and tuck there … just routine beauty maintenance … no charge, of course,” sure didn’t do much for the old self esteem, though. I just have to remind myself that this is a forty-two year old father of four who drives a two-seat convertible sports car, and calls everyone “dude.”

The work apartment is way too far for any of us to walk to at 1:30 AM. Danielle has the brilliant idea to split a cab. I just paid $50 for dinner that wasn’t good, a movie I didn’t want to see, on a night I didn’t feel like going out, on a week where the good doctor told me I could either get some Botox in my cheeks or wait until next Monday for my paycheck because of a slow month at the office. Considering that I usually end up getting stuck for the entire cab fare, I decided that I would rather walk than get the short end of the stick, yet again.

“Fine … be that way, Joanie. At least be careful. I’ll call you tomorrow for martinis! Kiss kiss!”

I have to fight to keep my smile in place at Danielle’s words. When the cab full of my friends finally pulls away, I let out a breath and rolled my eyes. Great. Yet another evening on the town that I do not want.

I was only vaguely aware that the words “be careful” had been thrown into her statement as an afterthought. This is Los Angeles. I have lived here for five years. I have also made this walk at all hours of the night, at least two dozen times. As far as parts of town go, this is as safe as any.

Still, I figure it’s better to be safe than sorry. I took one of those self defense courses when I first moved here from Indiana. What I learned in that class has probably kept me from getting hurt a couple of times. One of the most important things they talked about was avoiding potentially dangerous situations, i.e. don’t walk around by yourself at 1:30 AM in the middle of L.A. Still, I figure that if I don’t act like a victim, I won’t be a victim. I hold my head up, pull my shoulders back, and walk with confidence and purpose towards my destination. If someone gets near me, I’ll scream my head off and run. If that doesn’t work, I’ll use the pepper spray, then, I’ll run.

I get about a half a block into my trek when a police car slowly cruises by, going the opposite direction from my apartment on the deserted four-lane street. I wave as the officer in the passenger seat shines the spotlight in my eyes. Surely I look neither threatening enough to be a mugger, nor slutty enough to be a prostitute in my black, pin-striped pant suit and heels. The car passes by and the shadow on the wall indicates that the spotlight has moved down from the back of my head to my butt.

“Gee, thanks, guys. I feel so much safer with you patrolling the streets.”

The LAPD continue their nightly rounds and go elsewhere to look for the bad guys, completely oblivious of my less-than-enthusiastic praise.

I had just rounded a corner by one of the few dark, deserted alleys on my path home when I heard the voice.

“You’re a terrible liar, you know.”

I turn in the direction of the deep, male voice, but see only darkness in the alley. Impossibly-strong hands push me from behind. It felt like a truck hit me squarely between the shoulder blades. I must have flown fifteen feet before slamming into the brick wall inside the darkness of the alley. The first thing I do is find my key chain with the pepper spray canister. I haven’t tried the stuff since I bought it two months ago. Dear God, please let it work.

I scramble to my feet, opening my mouth to scream. I never see him coming. The icy cold hand closes over my mouth before I can make a sound. He is already in my face, pinning me against his body with his other arm. His grip is like a vise. I can barely breathe, let alone scream.

The oxygen had been forced out of my lungs when he grabbed me. I have to take short gasping breaths, just to get what little air I can. The pepper spray is in my hand, but both of my arms were pinned by my sides in his freakishly-strong hold. As he holds me, I finally am able to get a good look at him.

He looks normal enough. He is a little taller than me, with a shaved head and earrings. He is wearing a stylish t-shirt and jeans, with rings and bracelets galore. He looks like a thousand guys you might find in any night club in L.A. That is the problem, though. He isn’t a “guy.” As I look into his face, I know he isn’t even human.

His eyes are glowing yellow as they bore a hole into my own. I have seen the ravers and their freaky contacts, but I have never seen anything like that. His skin is like ice. It is as if he were a dead body. The most terrible thing about his appearance is his teeth. They are long and jagged, and already coated with red. Is that blood???

“Why, yes it is.”

He just answered a question that I never spoke aloud. Dear God, he is in my head. What is he? What is he going to do to me? Am I going to be raped and killed by this … thing?

“The ‘what’ is a vampire. That is what I am. No offense, toots, you’re cute and all, but what I want is not in your pants. Instead, I think I can find it right … about …. Here.”

His icy tongue runs up and down my neck, directly over a major artery. I don’t know if this guy is for real, but I can only assume that he is. Even if he is not, I realize that he didn’t specifically say he wasn’t going to kill me.

I feel those horrible, jagged fangs brush against my throat. Dear God, please help me.

As I am readying myself for this … this thing to bite into the side of my neck, a blurry black form slams into both of us, then disappears. For the second time in less than a minute, I find myself on the ground. I stare at the asphalt and struggle to regain my breath. The man’s grip had been so strong that he might have cracked a couple of my ribs. The pain that shoots down my torso with each breath does not ease my fear.

When I look back to the man, he has already gotten back to his feet. He is no longer looking at me. Instead he is looking away from the dead-end brick wall of the back of the alley and back towards the street with what I can only describe as an animalistic snarl. I swear to God, it almost sounds like he is hissing like those cobras at the zoo, right before they attack the mice at feeding time. I don’t know if he is what he says he is, but I am finding it easier to believe that he is not human.

I realize that my chances of survival are far better if I am standing. Despite the pain in my ribs and my inability to take a decent breath, I drag myself back to my feet. I manage to make it to the wall and brace myself against it. I know if I end up on the ground again, I may never leave this place alive.

I chance a quick look to the mouth of the alley. It is in that moment that I see her.

She could not have been more than 5’4”. I can’t decide whether the word “terrible” or “beautiful” is better suited for her. Her long, ebon hair is the kind of shade that you just can’t get from a bottle … and the curves of her figure are something that the plastic surgeon I work for would never be able to reproduce, no matter how much money his clients throw at him. She is definitely attractive, but the one feature I cannot get over is her eyes. She looks no older than I do, but her eyes are so very old. Even stranger than that, they appear to be glowing with green fire. The black, sleeveless dress she is wearing looks very much like the dark shape that separated me from the vampire only a moment earlier. Dear God … she’s not human either.

This “woman” stands there, staring down my attacker. For one full of such bravado, the strange man has made no move to attack her. He seems … fearful.

“Do you know who I am?”

Her voice had the faintest hint of an accent, but I can’t quite place it. Spanish? Romanian? Though very feminine, there was a confident and commanding tone to it. The man makes no effort to answer her, so I take a shallow breath and open my mouth to do so.

She turns and locks eyes with me. She holds a finger in front of her lips. “Shh.” It is like her fiery green eyes grabbed a hold of my very soul. Not only am I unable to talk, but I also cannot move. My whole body simply stopped at her command.

The man replies to her question. “No. I don’t know who you are. Should I?”

I can only watch with morbid fascination as the scene unfolds. If his lack of knowledge bothers her, she doesn’t let it show. She just stands there with her arms crossed over her ample chest, looking very much like she owns everything and every one around her. I have never been in the presence of a queen, but I would imagine she would carry herself like this woman.

“I am Lucifera. This is my city, now. You are most unwelcome here.”

There is no humor in her tone, but the man laughs. At least, I think he was going to laugh. The sound never had a chance to fully form. One second, this Lucifera was standing in the mouth of the alley. Then she was gone. I see the same blur of black as it circles the man, then comes to a stop by my side. The man is still standing there, but something is wrong. It takes me nearly a full second to realize that his head is gone. It must have taken his body that long as well. Once we all figure it out, a spray of blood from his headless neck showers the alley in crimson. It is like some terrible geyser of blood that paints the wall and ground red. Finally, the body falls over and the stream ceases to flow.

I feel something heavy hit the ground next to my foot. I do not need to look down to know it is the man’s head. As quickly as my paralysis hits me, it is gone. I take a wobbly step towards the woman.

A movement in the mouth of the alley stops me. I can barely make out the dark shape that is getting closer to my odd savior. At first, I thought it was a large dog, but it was as big as a bear. No dog could be that big … nor would a dog have glowing red eyes.

Just when I thought the night could not get any stranger, the thing stands up on two legs and begins to speak.

“I took care of the other two across the street. You sure you don’t want me to stick around till this is done?”

The horror of that voice is nauseating. It is deeper than a fog horn. I feel like a thousand spiders are crawling down my spine with each word from that … thing. This cannot be real.

The woman is unfazed. She simply laughs and looks towards me as she inexplicably replies to the monster.

“No, Wolf. You have business to attend to, and so do I. The month will pass quickly and I shall be in my rightful place by the time you return.”

The monster grunts in affirmation, then turns its glowing red orbs on me. A spine-chilling smile forms on its canine face as it stares down at me from its towering height.

“Should I take care of this one, then?”

Involuntarily, tears form in my eyes from the mere sound of its words. Please, make it stop.

The woman holds up a hand. “No. That will not be necessary.”

The beast nods and turns is gigantic shape back towards the mouth of the alley.

I don’t know what is going on, but I am going to at least have my say. I take an unsteady step away from the monster and towards the woman.

“Thank you … Lucifera, is it? I … I don’t know how I can repay you for saving my life … Is there anything I can do?” The trauma must be making me delirious, as I start to giggle softly at the absurdity of the night’s events.

My laughter is cut short by a tiny hand that is suddenly wrapped around my throat. Dear God … her grip is even more terrible than the man’s was. I am finally beginning to black out from the lack of oxygen. I find myself pulled close to the woman’s face by that same hand with strength she should not possibly possess.

“Yes, there is. I find myself quite thirsty.”

In the space of a single syllable, I finally see them behind her ruby-red lips, hanging like two tiny ivory daggers. I see her fangs.

My world goes black as I feel the sharp pain of those same teeth tear the vein my first attacker had so coveted. The last thing I hear before darkness takes me completely is the sound of someone sobbing. I am oddly detached when I realize that the sound is coming …

from me.

Author Interview: Chris Kelly Pt 2 - the blog tour ending edition

2010-10-29T13:54:00.001-05:00

Chris Kelly of Scathach Publishing seemed to be getting bored as his blog tour was winding down, so I hit him up for another interview. Why? Because I am an asshole like that.

Anyone who has ever been involved in the mass chaos of a blog tour will realize that there is more than a little sarcasm in there, except for the asshole bit. Big thanks to Chris for being such a great sport.

MM: Welcome back, Chris. You are rolling into the end of your tour. What have you learned and would you do anything differently?

CK: This is the first time I've ever done anything like this; I've never even wrote to deadlines before so it was... interesting. Actually, it was Hell - it was tiring, confusing and seemingly never-ending but I really enjoyed it. I was constantly busy throughout October, always had too much to do and no time to do it, but on the whole it still went really well.

I don't know if I would do another book tour; in October I worked my ass off and sold six books so it wasn't worthwhile in that respect. In other respects it has worked well - I have a lot more people following my blog now than there were in previous months.

My two biggest problems this month were viruses - me and the laptop both had one. I've lost nearly a stone (about 14lbs? Is that right?) in just under a week because I have not been eating anything except Maltesers.

And my laptop packed on. It got fixed today, and they fixed it so well I can't get on the internet because the new firewall is super good.

MM: Ouch. That's dieting the hard way. What do you have coming up for the rest of the tour?

CK: This is the final day of my tour, but I have two guest posts coming to my blog in November - S L Armstrong is blogging about collaborating on projects, which is something I've always wanted to try. And Zoe Winters is doing her post on how to write characters in love. It's the counterpart to a post by Selena Kitt currently on my blog, which is how to write about sex.
( http://dun-scaith.blogspot.com/2010/10/guest-post-writing-real-sex-selena-kitt.html )

MM: You have written some excellent articles and hosted a number of outstanding posts (mine included - Damn, it was good. I'm going to read it again as soon as I finish this interview) on your blog. Are you looking forward to a quiet November or will you keep up the torrid blogging pace?

CK: In November I will be doing Nano. My nano novel is called Ugly Mean-spirited Nasty Stinking Goblinses (okay, it's not actually called that, but I keep forgetting the bloody title!)
The cover art is done, and the novel is mostly planned. It's a YA story about a homeless girl in Glasgow. Her name is Holly, and she can see what's really there - things like fairies and so on.

She teams up with a goblin who might be ugly and stinky and nasty and all the other things in the title, but who has a good heart, and a sex-mad (and now very frustrated) foul-mouthed princess trapped in the body of a 3ft high Princess Doll, and together they try to stop the evil villain... Santa Claus. He's stealing innocence from the world and abducting naughty children and forcing them to work in his toy factories.

The whole thing will be posted on a dedicated blog as it is written, and will also (hopefully) be released for sale before xmas. I also have a novel 90% done (well, 100% done but currently only existing in print) that I'd like to bring out before Christmas.

http://chriskellygoblins.blogspot.com/

So I won't be having a quiet November, but I won't be blogging a lot either.

Unless I get told to: I recently started a social networking challenge. I'm being deliberately sketchy on details at this stage, but I recently started a challenge and I've pretty much to do what I'm told from now til Christmas.

MM: Interesting. I knew a guy in college who had a sexually frustrated doll. His name was Fred and her name was Francine. Their story was far less interesting than your upcoming novel sounds like it will be.

Now that Matilda Raleigh: Invictus is published and finding its way to the eyeballs of readers everywhere, what's next?

CK: I've been working on an enhanced Ebook for Invictus, but it won't be ready til nearer Christmas at the soonest. It will have around 35000 words of new material including the first story of Matilda going up against the crystal skulls, and an add-on to the ending. It will also have lots of other interesting things in there, too. I'd hoped to bring it out sooner, but that was not to be.

I also have my secret non-fiction Matilda Raleigh project. I'm giving away very little about this at this stage except that it probably won't be ready before March at the very earliest. Could be looking at next August as a reasonable date. I'm seriously considering not bringing out another Matilda Raleigh book until this is ready.

Oh, and it will probably be free.

MM: You heard it here first, folks. The enhanced edition of Matilda Raleigh Invictus is coming! Good luck with NaNo, Chris. And thanks again for the interview.

Visit Chris's blog and keep up with his upcoming projects here.
Chris's debut novel, Matilda Raleigh Invictus is now available on Amazon in the UK and US.

Twelve mildly interesting things you didn't know about me

2010-10-26T01:02:00.002-05:00

1. I have a master’s degree in Accounting, which in no way prepared me for the world of fiction writing.

2. I have been to Japan on four separate occasions, yet my language skills are still barely at a preschool level.

3. I once lounged in a natural hot spring pool atop a mountain with thirty naked Japanese guys while it was 25 degrees and snowing.

4. I was a pall bearer in five funerals and attended over a dozen before I was sixteen years old; none of which were a result of foul play on my part.

5. My dad was struck in the face with a chainsaw when I was six. It ripped off most of his upper lip and knocked out the majority of his teeth, but he still managed to smoke a cigarette on the way to the hospital. When I write about bad ass characters there is at least a little bit of my pop in each one.

6. Despite what I have claimed in the past, the “T” in M.T. Murphy does not stand for “Tiberius.”

7. I did not actually grow sideburns when I was eleven. I was twelve.

8. I used to manage the largest men’s college dorm in the state of Alabama.

9. I have dug ditches and shoveled shit, and took pride in doing both.

10. When I let my dog in at night, I close the door behind him quickly so the zombies don’t slip inside. You can never be too careful.

11. My family has owned a cemetery since the mid-1800s and my cousins and I used to play among the tombstones when we were kids.

12. A distant cousin of mine used to play keyboard for Travis Tritt and Joe Diffie. That kind of makes me an honorary roadie for country singers with mustaches and mullets.

New Poem: The Hunger

2010-10-26T00:41:00.000-05:00

The Hunger

Man

Pale moonlight falls

Animal

On a virgin field

Beast

Two-legged sheep should be in bed

Monster

Their screams like music

Demon

Blood like wine

Abomination

I am not evil

Werewolf

I merely sate the hunger

Guest Blog: On the Nature of Evil by Chris Kelly

2010-10-21T00:59:00.000-05:00

Having decided to blog about evil, I had a few options. I could look at what I believe evil is, or I could look at how/why people become evil. Finally, I could look at evil as an externalised being; ie, Satan as one example.

Being indecisive, I decided to do all three.

What is evil?

Evil is a very solid word. You can almost feel the weight behind it when you say it aloud. Evil. Like the closing of a door, it’s a word that cuts things off, that rings with finality. Evil. There’s no going back, once you are evil.

But despite the fact that it is a solid word, it is far from a solid concept. In fact, it is nearly impossible to define evil except in the most abstract of terms. Murder is evil. But if you murder someone who was just about to murder an innocent, does the fact that you were preventing evil stop your act from being evil?

Stealing is evil. But if your family is starving, and its steal or die, where does the good come from with dying?

Paedophilia is evil. In some parts of America I would be considered a paedophile, because I had sex with someone under the age of 21. In my country the age of consent is 16, and she was over the age. Surely you can’t be evil based on geographical location?

It is a difficult concept to judge. There are so many “what if...” scenarios that can crop up. For example, let us say that killing an innocent is evil. I doubt anyone would argue with that point, because of the word innocent. A convicted murderer is executed. Afterwards, it is discovered he was an innocent man. The executioner killed an innocent, but he was just carrying out his orders. It was the jury who decided the innocent man was guilty. The jury murdered an innocent man, and thus are evil.

Why people become evil

The only way to define evil that seems to hold up to these scenarios is the consideration of intent. To decide, after looking carefully at the evidence, to end the life of a man who has apparently killed does not have an evil intent. To murder an innocent because you want to steal his phone would therefore be evil.

A thug who goes around beating people up because it makes him feel good about himself is evil. A thug who goes around beating other people up because it makes strangers feel safe on the streets (ie Batman) is not evil.

With both the jury, and Batman, the intent was to protect society. With the thug and the murderer, the intent was some kind of personal gain. So it would seem from this that selfishness leads to evil whilst altruism is bound in with good.

Looked at this way, it is clear that two people could do the same thing, for different reasons, and only one would be considered to be being evil. Which suggests that when a person becomes evil, it is a personal choice.

Of course, no one chooses to be evil, and from here it becomes clear that evil is a path. When one decision is made, it becomes easier to make a second decision. When you are mugging someone, and it doesn’t go as planned, it is a lot easier to stretch to killing than it would be if you weren’t already so far down the path towards evil.

Evil as an externalised Force

If evil rises from intent, and is a path then it is, ultimately, an internal thing. Evil, in my view, is simply the consequences of choices that every body makes. If this is the case, then it becomes obvious that externalised evil cannot exist.

Evil in Matilda Raleigh: Invictus

Evil is a huge part of Invictus. Matilda constantly questions herself, wondering if she is evil. As a youth, she made a deal with a demon, but she did it to save her father’s life. By intent, this was not an evil act. However, it led to her being possessed by another demon, which led to the young Matilda committing several acts of evil. Cured of possession, she has spent her life trying to redeem herself. And at the end of her life, she faces a choice, with either option being considered evil. How do you decide, when no matter what decision you make will lead to an act of evil?

Dr Tick Tock, the mad steampunk and clockpunk inventor, has spent his life being evil, but wants to redeem himself before he dies.

And then there’s the non-human characters; vampires and demons. Self-centred and arrogant, they can be evil or good depending on the decisions they make.

That is my view of the nature of evil. I’d love to discuss yours...

Chris Kelly is the author of Matilda Raleigh: Invictus, a story about evil and redemption, betrayal and duty, steampunk and sword and sorcery. Find him on Twitter, Facebook, and his blog.

Halloween movie review: Trick r Treat

2010-10-19T01:49:00.001-05:00

I remember watching the Elm Street films as a kid through covered eyes and plugged ears. The same went for the Friday the 13th and Halloween films. What can I say? I was one brave little dude ... except the exact opposite of that.

Those films each operated on a set of rules. If a character followed the rules, then they might live to the end. If they broke the rules, then they were sure to die in a suitably horrible and cathartic fashion at the hands of the big, scary villain while the audience cheered in one big chorus of “I told you so!”

Trick r Treat is a throwback to the days before horror movies were synonymous with torture porn. Early on, we are introduced to Sam. Though he looks like a creepy yet cute little kid out to score candy on Halloween, he is actually the physical embodiment of modern Halloween tradition. If people follow the “rules” of Halloween (respect the jack o’ lantern, check your candy before you eat it, be kind to trick or treaters, etc.) they have nothing to fear. If they don’t, then they suffer the gory consequences.

This film is comprised of five vignettes, each focusing on a different Halloween tradition and a different set of hapless victims. The stories are connected by jovial little Sam. Sometimes he takes an active role and sometimes he simply observes. In either case, the stories all resolve themselves in gruesome, yet satisfying ways that fit well with the rules that are established in the beginning of the movie.

Anna Paquin (X-Men, True Blood - yes, Sookie) as a modern day Red Riding Hood and Brian Cox (of X-Men 2 fame) as a Halloween-hating curmudgeon are the two biggest names in the film. Given that both of these actors are alumni of the X-Men films, it should come as no shock that X-Men and X-Men 2 director Bryan Singer is a producer.

The best word I can use to describe Trick r Treat is FUN. This is one of the most enjoyable horror films I have seen since the werewolf-heavy Dog Soldiers. There are a few bloody/shocking moments, but the overall gore is nowhere near the level of a Saw or Hostel film.

Yep. Trick r Treat relies on setting up genuine suspense rather than throwing dismemberments at you until you cry “uncle.” Since all of the stories are connected, you will want to watch it multiple times just to catch all the breadcrumbs that lead from one story to the next.

Oh yeah … did I mention there just might be a werewolf in the flick? You’ll have to watch to find out.

Spoiler: There is, and it looks fantastic with hardly any CGI.

What? Me? No patience?

Bite me. Then, watch this film.

If you long for the days of a good horror movie that will scare you and still leave a smile on your face at the end, look no farther than Trick r Treat.

Halloween movie review: Ninth Gate

2010-10-15T01:28:00.000-05:00

Johnny Depp stars as cutthroat rare book broker Dean Corso in this dark thriller. Ridiculously wealthy and painfully creepy devil enthusiast Boris Balkan employs Corso to examine the validity of a recently acquired piece in his Lucifer book collection: The Nine Gates of the Kingdom of Shadows. According to legend, the book was coauthored by Satan and should have the power to summon the devil himself … only Balkan just can’t get the thing to work.

In other words, the book is made of pure WIN … or FAIL. Depends on your point of view.

As Corso seeks out the owners of the only two other existing copies of the book, death follows him at every stop. People who come into contact with the book begin to die in grisly scenes similar to the engravings captured in the book’s pages.

When his not-so-benevolent benefactor’s copy is stolen, Corso must race to find out the truth behind the demonic tome before he is consumed in its murderous wake.

The Ninth Gate emphasizes style over substance and it works perfectly. The characters are so over the top that they border on the comical. A fellow rare book dealer declares Corso “Unscrupulous!” and is answered by a puff of smoke from one of Depp’s signature Pall Mall cigarettes. Frank Langella in his unsettling performance as the sinister Balkan glares at Corso and presses the “secret” combination to his devil focused book vault on the keypad: 666. A pair of twin antique book dealers gush over the quality of Balkan’s book while showering it with ashes from their burning cigarettes.

These comedic touches are so subtle that I missed them until my third or fourth viewing.

See Johnny Depp smoke 72 Pall Malls and have sex with 40% of the speaking female cast members!

Watch Frank Langella chew up entire set pieces like they were m&m’s!

Wonder how the hell a scumbag like Polanski can be such a genius director!

Ninth Gate is not the scariest film around, but it is a stylish and interesting portrait of a group of bibliophiles obsessed with something they cannot truly comprehend. It is definitely a love it or hate it kind of film. If you are ok with the dark subject matter, you will probably love it.

All Hallows: Chapter 1

2010-10-13T02:37:00.000-05:00

If you have read my novel, Lucifera's Pet, you may remember that Lucifera became a vampire on October 13, 102 AD. It was 3:30 in the morning to be exact.

Why do I know the exact day and time of a made-up character's conversion to vampire? Because I'm a freak like that.

Just go with it.

To celebrate Lucifera's dark birthday, I am publishing the entire first chapter of my upcoming novella, All Hallows, right here. It is completely raw and unedited. Please read and let me know what you think. Specifically, is it compelling enough to get you to read chapter 2?

All Hallows: Chapter 1

Sophia wanted to die. She prayed for the Lord to call her home every day for the better part of a decade. On a chilly October evening death knocked on her door.

Few who knew the elderly woman would have guessed that she went through life each day hoping it would be her last. She had outlived both her husband and their three children by ten years. The frontier was harsh and life was so very fragile. Except for Sophia’s, it seemed.

She had endured two bouts of influenza that killed more than a dozen people younger than herself in the formerly quiet mining settlement of Deadwood, South Dakota. Every morning she awoke to pain so severe that it took her an hour to work up the strength to get out of bed.

She had just said “amen” for her nightly prayers when she heard the rapping at her door.

Three knocks came in a deep, methodical rhythm. It was precisely how she figured death would sound.

With the pain she usually felt in her joints oddly absent, Sophia slid out from under the covers and put on her housecoat. She took her time walking to the door. There was no need to hurry. Death had been waiting for eighty-nine years. It could wait a little longer.

She placed a hand on the lock, but hesitated. It was well past midnight and all but the rowdiest of outlaws had called it a night. Still, no one would be foolish enough to knock on her door if they planned to rob her. If she screamed people would come.

“Who’s there?” she asked through the closed door.

“You called and I have answered, Sophia.”

The voice that replied was warm and calm. It was the voice of a young woman. Her slight accent was European, but Sophia couldn’t place the country.

She opened the door.

A blast of cool air brought a shudder from the woman. One look at her caller brought another.

The young woman was wearing an extravagant maroon dress, cut lower than it should have been at the top and clinging scandalously to her waist and chest. Her black hair was pulled back in an ornate fashion and cascaded down her body as though she had just arrived for the ball. She was a stunning beauty to be sure, but it was the same beauty that could be found in the eyes of a mountain lioness just before she killed.

“Who are you?” Sophia asked.

“Call me whatever you wish. You know why I am here. It is your time.”

“You are death, then?”

“If you like. Invite me in and I will give you what you seek.”

Sophia hesitated. When presented with promise of the sweet release of death she found herself wavering. Were things really that bad?

Her thoughts drifted to her only friend, Adam. The odd man surely wouldn’t miss an old woman who had lived long past her expiration.

She looked back into the eyes of the girl, fully prepared to tell her to go away. What strange eyes they were. So green that they seemed to glow in the moonlight.

The girl wasn’t real. She couldn’t be.
“Sophia.” A new voice greeted her. This one was deep and masculine. It was so familiar. Sophia turned to find her husband standing beside her. He wasn’t old and worn down as he had been at his death. Instead he was as healthy and youthful as he was shortly after their children had been born.

“Jonathan?”

“It’s me, Sophie. And look.” He stepped to the side revealing two cherubic boys and a beautiful little girl.

“My babies!” Sophia took a step forward with arms outstretched to embrace the husband and children who had left the Earth many years before. Her heart swelled and pounded with joy.

The girl outside smiled.

As Sophia’s hands neared her loved ones, they began to fade. Her husband disappeared and her children dissolved into darkness before her eyes. They were still as dead as they had been these long torturous years.

Sophia looked back at the temptress in the doorway. “Even death wouldn't be that cruel.”

The young woman outside said nothing. The wind blew, rustling the fabric of her dress and her long, black hair. She should have shivered from the cold, but instead she was motionless, as only the dead can be.

Sophia knew she should close the door and pretend that it was all a dream. No good could come from the thing outside. Still, she could smell the tobacco from her husband’s pipe and hear the echoes of her children’s laughter. It had seemed so real.

The two women stared into each other’s eyes in silence. Sophia suddenly found the girl’s enigmatic smile infuriating. The cold began to take its toll and Sophia’s joints started to ache. She stumbled and looked back towards her waiting bed.

The woman outside did not move.

Sophia let out a sigh as the weight of many painful years of courage in the face of harsh life drained from her.

Finally, she spoke. “Come inside, demon. Take me to Hell if that’s what you came for.”

The woman stepped across the threshold. “My name is Lucifera, and life has shown you enough cruelty. I bring you this.”

Sophia’s husband appeared before her again. This time, he walked towards her and took her in his arms. Stunned, she pushed against him, finding that he was flesh and not the apparition from before.

“Oh Jonathan.” Sophia buried her face in his shoulder and wept tears of joy.

She barely noticed the sharp pain in her throat. Her husband rocked her gently in his arms and stroked her hair as the life poured out of her body.

Sophia died happily.

The vampire felt the life leave Sophia’s body but continued to drink. She relaxed her mind, allowing the effort she put into tricking the old woman’s senses to fade away while she savored the last drops of blood.

Human emotions exhibited such distinct flavors. It had been some time since Lucifera had tasted happiness. It was far too sweet for her pallet. She much preferred when her victims died in terror. Fear was both salty and sour, and most delectable. Still, she was a guest in this town and she had to be respectful, at least for the time being.

With only days to go before the ceremony, Lucifera was beginning to like it in Deadwood. She had tried to be a good guest and feed as neatly as possible. The others were far less considerate. Downright sloppy, even. In the grand scheme, it was of little importance. Chance favored the possibility that all of existence would be cast into a void of nothingness in less than a fortnight.

Lucifera placed Sophia in bed and closed the front door on her way out. Impending apocalypse or no, she saw no reason to be uncivilized.

The Evololution of Female Vampires - Guest Blog at Dun Scaith

2010-10-11T08:32:00.000-05:00

Female vampires have been around for just as long as their male counterparts in literature and film. Their role has changed immensely over the past two centuries. Today I am taking a look at six of the most memorable female vampires...

Continue reading at Dun Scaith.

Halloween is upon us ...

2010-10-04T00:16:00.001-05:00

Halloween season is here! Don’t believe me? Go to your nearest Wal-Mart type superstore or grocery store. To get to the milk you will have to climb at least three mountains of Halloween candy. I love this time of year. Until I can convince the governments of the world to make Halloween a monthly occurrence I will have to be satisfied with our annual trip to monsterville.

This month, I have several things planned for you loyal Werewolf Kibblers. I have plans to review many of my favorite spooky films and books, including Sweeney Todd, Trick r Treat, Dog Soldiers, A Night In The Lonesome October (yes, again), Phantasm, and at least one of Rob Zombie’s Halloween movies. I will release at least two more pieces of chapter art for Werewolf Gunslinger: All Hallows. That story has turned out to be a lot of fun, so I am working to get it completed as quickly as my gnarly little fingers and demented brain will allow.

Also, Chris Kelly has published his first full-length novel. To celebrate that, he is hosting a month long blog tour. Check out the interview here. Then, go buy Matilda Raleigh: Invictus. It’s $2.99. I bet you spent more than that at Starbucks on a mocha. Help a new author out.

Because I am anal and at least mildly deranged, I know that October 13 is the day my character Lucifera from the novel Lucifera’s Pet became a vampire. To celebrate her birth in darkness, I am publishing the entire first chapter of Werewolf Gunslinger: All Hallows for free on my blog on October 13. The chapter features the lovable Miss L doing what evil vampires do best: bad things.

So, stock up on candy. Get your costume in order. Hang the garlic at every door and window. Halloween is on its way!

M.T. Murphy is the author of Lucifera’s Pet, a violent and sexy dark fiction tale of werewolves and vampires. Connect with him below:

Website: http://www.luciferaspet.com/

Blog: http://werewolfkibble.blogspot.com/

Twitter: http://twitter.com/WerewolfMike

MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/luciferaspet

Smashwords (Free eBooks): http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/mtmurphy

Author Interview: Chris Kelly, author of Matilda Raleigh: Invictus

2010-10-03T23:52:00.000-05:00

I recently was fortunate enough to interview new author, Chris Kelly of Scathatch Publishing. His book, Matilda Raleigh: Invictus, is now available.

Chris is an enigmatic straight-shooter who does not hesitate to tell it like it is. The phrase “sugar-coated” is not in his vocabulary. Enjoy!

M.T.M: Thanks for letting me interview you, Chris.

C.K.: You're welcome, Michael. It's great to be here - I'm doing three interviews this month as part of my blog tour and it's making me feel like a big shot author. Loving my 2-seconds in the limelight.

M.T.M: How about we start off with an easy one. Where are you from and how long have you been writing, for yourself and professionally?

C.K.: I'm from Scotland, a tiny village called Laurieston, about a mile from the world-famous Falkirk Wheel (it's famous if you are turned on by canal boats, boat lifts and so on). It's the heart of Braveheart country, according to the tourist board.

I've always wrote, since I could write. I write every single day and I always have. If I miss more than two days I get impossibly crabby and my wife hates me! Writing is my form of relaxation.

I've known I was good enough to get published since I was 22. At that point I just sort of thought "yeah, I'm amazing..." LOL, no - it was more like realising that I actually have talent, my writing doesn't suck.

I don't believe this spiel about "writers can't judge their own work." Why else do so many writers say " I read something I wrote x years ago. My writing used to suck." I read my work and I know it's good, and if other people don't think I'm humble, or feel I don't know what I'm talking about, or whatever, that's fine.

Literature is subjective. I didn't like the Da Vinci Code, but that doesn't mean all the millions of people who bought it were wrong. And if everyone hates Invictus, that doesn't make them right.

By the way, I'm 28 now, so by my count I've been good enough for 6 years. And still improving.

M.T.M: I am 34 and I fully expect it to take about sixty years for people to see my first novel for the masterpiece it is. Then the “F*ck me, M.T. Murphy” videos will start rolling in.

Sorry. I sometimes can have the attention span of a gnat on Red Bull. Back to the topic at hand.

The protagonist of your book, Matilda Raleigh: Invictus, is a seventy-two year old retiree. She definitely does not fit one of the typical fantasy adventure story archetypes. What inspired you in your choice of a main character?

C.K.: I can't deny the influence Legend has had on this book. David Gemmell is not my favourite author (but he's up there) and that isn't my favourite book (again, up there) but it has massively influenced me.

I was probably also influenced by Terry Pratchett's The Last Hero, and other books which peripherally feature Cohen the Barbarian.

Matilda is hard to place in the archetypes. In the original version of my book I told two stories, one of Matilda as a sixteen year old going up against the magic of the crystal skulls for the first time, and the other of her fighting the same magic as a septuagenarian. So she kind of fitted the young hero and old mentor role at the same time (yes, I know that's a stretch).

Of course, the entire book doesn't fit fantasies silly lines in the sand. It's sword and sorcery of the oldest style, and by that I mean it is Conan, and it is Elric, and more. At the same time it is down and dirty steampunk. Yes, she's the richest woman in the Empire, but she speaks thieves' cant and is as at home in the warren-like slums of St Giles Rookery as she is in the royal palaces of Sandringham, watching her king and queen dance.

I'm not a fan of "this is a sub-genre. Keep your writing within it." The compartmentalization of fantasy was a marketing decision, a product placement decision, and never should have carried weight back to the writers. But try explaining that to publishers, editors and agents with their "we sell what we've always sold" attitudes.

Fantasy should be the most open and encompassing genre in all of fiction. After all, the rule in fantasy (the only rule) is consistency within the constraints of the book. Want to have unicorns that go into magical cocoons and then become dragons? Fine, as long as that's where all dragons come from.

And yet, despite the fact that fantasy is the one genre that could take us everywhere, anywhere, to do anything with anyone, despite the fact that it is the one genre without limits, bookshops only ever seem to stock the same five plots with a different cover.

As for Matilda, the more I thought about this story, the more I wanted to do someone who was not only a hero for it, but famous. Famous throughout the entire empire in her heyday

(She was featured in at least 19 supposedly biographical penny dreadful fictions in her youth) and yet is know old and forgotten. No one knows who she is, where she came from, what she did. In a sense, I went in the opposite direction of Gemmell's Legend.

Druss had the expectations of a nation to fulfill when he went to Dros Delnoch. No one expects anything from Matilda, but she does what's needed anyway. She knows from the start of the novel that she is dying, that she probably won't survive long enough to stop the villain, and yet she doesn't give up.

In fact, that's what Invictus means. It's Latin for Unconquerable, and it's the title of possibly the best poem ever written, which is featured at the very beginning of the novel.

Through Matilda I wanted to show what it really means to be a hero. To do what needs done no matter the consequences. To know there will be no reward, no fame, no glory. In my opinion, being a hero simply means having the unbreakable will to make the hardest decisions, decisions ordinary people will never be expected to make.

I think I achieved that, especially with Matilda's victory. She has a choice between two evils, and it's the decision she comes to which truly makes Matilda a hero.

M.T.M: Is Invictus a standalone tale or part of a larger series or world of future connected stories?

C.K.: It's the last in a series. There will be a host of prequels involving Matilda from about age 20 up, when she starts working in the Church's wetworks department, battling magic and monsters.

The first one will feature a book of necromancy, an army of the undead, demonic possession and warrior priests, and I'm hoping to have it written and published in 2011.

There's also the chance for a dieselpunk spin-off. Invictus features a young girl called Emily, and I'm considering following Emily's story through the 20s and 30s in America, returning to Europe for World War II.

M.T.M: When did you begin writing the story?

C.K.: I began writing the story last year, in December I think. It took me longer than anything usually takes to write.

M.T.M: Did it change along the way?

C.K.: Absolutely. I've already mentioned the original told of her youth. Well, the original told a lot more than that. It was 40k words longer. I was writing for New York, which was a mistake. I cut 40k out, changed another 15k words, and came out with something much better and stronger for my efforts.

M.T.M: What do you want the reader to think and feel while reading Invictus?

C.K.: Invictus starts off with a clockman (think clockwork terminator) trying to assassinate King Edward. There are terrifying demons, beautiful angels, vengeful vampires, lovelorn sorceresses, magical explosions, a steam-powered Iron-Manesque power suit, demonically possessed revolvers, a trip to purgatory, a stormy ornithopter ride, and a stunning finale on board the RMS Titanic.

Like I said, it's old fashioned sword and sorcery, and the action catapults from one intense scene to the next, seemingly never-letting up.

So I'd be looking for nail-biting, edge-of-the-seat, wet-your-pants excitement at the very least. I want them to root for her. But I'd settle for a strong sense of like.

M.T.M: When you are not writing, what other authors do you enjoy reading?

C.K.: I really enjoy Jim Butcher's Dresden Files, but his fantasy not so much. I loved Patrick Rothfuss's Name of the Wind, and Martin Millar's Lonely Werewolf Girl.

My favourite book is Robert McCammon's Boy's Life. Everyone needs to read that. My favourite author is probably Terry Pratchett, but I realise he is not everyone's thing.

M.T.M: If you could have the opportunity to write a story, novel, episode, or movie about an existing character, what would that character be? (Doctor Who, James Bond, Wonder Woman, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Batman, etc.)

C.K.: I'd love to write a whole series of Spider-man novels, starting when he is still at school, back when the spider first bit him. I love Spidey.

Chris's blog tour rolls on throughout the month of October. Connect with him below:

Matilda Raleigh: Invictus - $2.99 at Smashwords.com
Dun Scaith – Chris’s blog
Facebook
Twitter

Werewolf Gunslinger: All Hallows Chapter 1 concept art

2010-09-29T01:57:00.000-05:00

Werewolf Gunslinger: All Hallows is the novella follow-up to my werewolf gunslinger short stories available for free on Smashwords.com here. I am producing a pen and ink drawing for each chapter similar to the format of one of my favorite books, A Night in the Lonesome October by Roger Zelazny.

In Chapter 1, one of the protagonists from my novel, Lucifera's Pet, makes an appearance. This was the first rough sketch I did of the scene:

I played around with a few things and decided to add a doorway to show the point of view of the unlucky individual who encounters the vampiress. Here is my final sketch:

When I get around to inking this piece, I'll post that here as well.

Feedback is greatly appreciated!

Werewolf Gunslinger: All Hallows Chapter 2 concept art

2010-09-16T01:02:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite books of all time is Roger Zelazny's A Night in the Lonesome October. Each chapter is preceded by a quirky drawing by Gahan Wilson foreshadowing action to come.

I have always wanted to follow that concept, so that is exactly what I am doing with my upcoming Werewolf Gunslinger novella/anthology. Here is the art for chapter two. I am planning approximately twenty chapters so there is lots of art to come.

Feedback is greatly appreciated.

Review - Business Plan: Building Brand Identity as an Independent Author by Jess C. Scott

2010-09-01T13:19:00.000-05:00

When a large manufacturer brings a new product to market, you can bet that they have researched customer tendencies and market conditions and have mapped out every leg of the process. Starting out as an independent author is no different; at least it shouldn’t be if the author ever plans to make money from his or her art.

In her well written three-year business plan, Jess C. Scott gives an overview of the growth of independent publishing as well as outlining her reasons for choosing the indie path over traditional publishing. She analyzes her own book catalogue as well as the market segments she targets in her writing. Citing her own real-world examples, Scott outlines a low-cost plan for building awareness of her author brand and connecting with her audience. She also clearly defines her three year sales and financial goals.

Being a self-published author myself, I was very impressed by Ms. Scott’s plan. Her goals are realistic and her methods are easy to understand and utilize by anyone who wants to publish their own work. This book is an excellent example for independent authors of how to get started and succeed in making money with their craft.

Excerpt from Lucifera's Pet sequel novel

2010-08-31T13:47:00.000-05:00

The following is a brief excerpt from the untitled second book of my vampire and werewolf series. If you want to see what the fuss is about, check out my author page on Smashwords for free short stories and a sample of my novel, Lucifera's Pet.

© 2010 M.T. Murphy. All rights reserved.

The werewolf awoke to the sound of grinding gears and an eerie rendition of “The Entertainer” seemingly performed by an out of tune jack-in-the-box.

Mouth full of sand? Check. Nausea? Check. Searing pain in the head with each heartbeat? Check.

If he didn’t know better, he’d have sworn he had a hangover, but that would have taken a barrel of whiskey. Did they still sell whiskey in barrels?

He considered standing up, but decided to lie where he was for another minute or two. The vehicle he was in hit a bump, bashing his head against the hard metal floor. He grumbled a curse and rolled over onto his stomach to get a better look at his surroundings.

What was left of the ceiling upholstery was held together by safety pins. The tattered material did little to hide the rusty roof. The metal wall of the truck was to his right. To his left, he noticed an old tarp that looked very familiar. He touched the moldy canvas and felt the cold body underneath.

Christopher.

He sat up and found Lily wrestling with the old vehicle’s shift stick as they loped down the freeway well below the speed limit under a hot Arizona sun.

“Lily, is this a fucking ice cream truck?”

His cousin glared at him through the rearview mirror.

“Oh, thank you fer saving me life, Lily. You were so right about that vampire, Lily. Why didn’t I listen to you before, Lily? I was too busy in me own little world combing me fecking ridiculous sideburns to notice anything!” The female werewolf let out a growl. “Arse.”

He laughed and sat down in the empty spot by the front door.

“As impressions of me go, that one was pretty good. You’re laying the accent on a little thick, though, aren’t ya?”

“Maybe a little.”

“So … ice cream truck?”

“Yep.”

“What happened to that war wagon you were driving?”

“The MaxxPro? I traded it for this fine machine.”

“Why?”

“Too conspicuous—” The warbled ice cream truck jingle interrupted her. “It’s stuck on auto,” she muttered almost apologetically.

He looked down to find he was wearing his spare jeans, t-shirt and shoes from his formerly lost bag. The luggage itself sat under the truck’s front console.

“Hey, you kept our bags. Wait … I thought I was—”

“Yes, I dressed you and yes it was a traumatic experience, but far less disturbing than leaving you naked would have been.”

They rode in silence for a while after that. Relative silence at least. The ice cream truck broke out in its familiar tune just to remind them what they were riding in.

After the last note of the out of tune jingle ended, his stomach offered its two cents, grumbling louder than the squeaking shocks and roar of bald tires on asphalt.

“I’m hungry. Let’s stop and hunt.”

“No way, Mickey. You’re not killing anybody while I’m around. I got you a big chicken burrito. It’s on the freezer.”

“Chicken burrito? Why a chicken burrito?”

“Because chicken burritos are like the gods’ golden apples. They have everything a healthy werewolf needs: protein, carbohydrates, fat, veggies, and, best of all, nobody died to make it.”

“Nobody but the chickens.”

“Just eat the damn burrito. If you eat it all you can have a popsicle from the freezer when you’re done.”

He unwrapped the three-pound monstrosity of tortilla, cheese, guacamole, and chicken. Three bites later, it was gone.

Opening the freezer, he dug through the piles of frozen desserts. After tossing aside the yogurt cups and shifting a mountain of fruit juice pops, he found what he was looking for.

“Aha. Mint chocolate chip on a stick. Things are looking up.” He retrieved the snack from near the bottom of the truck’s freezer and paused. There in the space left vacant by the package, a pair of eyes stared at him.

“Hey, Lily. Who’s the dead guy in the freezer?”

“Very funny,” she said, not bothering to look back. “The vampire is rolled up in the tarp on the floor.”

He kicked the tarp and confirmed that Christopher was still inside. He then looked back into the freezer. Moving a few more ice cream sandwiches confirmed the stiff hidden under the desserts. He was a man in his mid-forties, wearing a brightly colored polo shirt. The bluish tint to his frozen skin made him look like a very surprised smurf.

“I am fucking hilarious, but this time, I ain’t joking. You are the owner of a frozen dude.” Closing the lid, he took his place on the floor by Lily and bit into the ice cream.

She looked over at him without batting an eye.

“So I trade a multi-million dollar assault vehicle for an ice cream truck with a dead man buried under a mountain of frozen treats in its freezer?”

He swallowed the ice cream and tossed the wooden stick out the window. “Yep.”

Lily nodded. “Figures.”

They rode in silence for another five full minutes. Finally, he spoke.

“Let’s call him George.”

“Shut up,” Lily replied. “And get me a push pop.”

Zoe Winters - Blood Lust launch contest - Win a Kindle reader!!

2010-08-30T10:03:00.002-05:00

One of two things brought you to this post. Either you are already a Zoe Winters fan or you want to see how you can win a free Kindle. No matter. You are in for a treat.

Click here for contest details.

To celebrate the launch of her novella trilogy, Blood Lust, Zoe is giving away an Amazon Kindle e-reader. Unless you've been living under a rock or one of my sideburns for the past few years, you know that this device is still the best selling e-reader out there.

More importantly, the Blood Lust trilogy collection is a fun and exciting read. They are paranormal romance stories, but these aren't your grandmother's Harlequin paperbacks. I would compare these tales to the juicier Spike/Buffy storyline from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series, only easier on the angst and heavier on the blood, sex, and fun.

Do yourself a favor and check out Blood Lust. Grab a Kindle copy and then buy a print copy and beg Zoe to autograph it for you.You know you want to.

Random - Weekend weirdness

2010-08-27T17:10:00.000-05:00

One of five things will happen this weekend:

1. I finish the Werewolf Gunslinger cover art and post it on smashwords.

2. I finish that beta read for a friend and get her some feedback.

3. I finally stop avoiding Universal Studios' calls and sell them the rights for the Lucifera's Pet movie.

4. I post a Kindle review I promised someone a week back.

5. I post an excerpt from the follow-up to Lucifera's Pet online for all to see.

Hell, I might take an ambitious turn and do four out of five of these things.

So, what mountains will you move this weekend?

Traditional rock breaking vs. indie rock breaking in prehistoric times

2010-08-25T13:17:00.000-05:00

The year is 20,000 BCE.

Ug breaks rocks into pebbles. The other cave men and women like to look at Ug’s pebbles, so they trade him scraps of meat and berries for those pebbles. Ug has grown nice and plump from the spoils of his rock breaking business. He is so successful that he hires ten people to break the rocks for him.

Other people bring rocks they have found to Ug for his team to break. He breaks their rocks and sells them, then shares a few of his berries with the rock bringers, but not too many.

Some pebbles sell far more than others. Soon, Ug finds he can move a lot more pebbles if he only takes the roundest and smoothest rocks, and only those that are different shades of brown. He hires more people whose sole job is to screen for rocks that he can break into pebbles that will trade for the most meat and berries.

Ug has hired more people who haul the pebbles from village to village by dragging them on a big bear hide. Everyone knows Ug’s distributors and is used to the pebbles. They sometimes wish for a little more variety, but Ug’s pebbles are all they can get.

The rock bringers work hard, polishing their rocks and rubbing the right kind of dirt on them to make them the shade Ug’s screeners look for. There are now so many rock bringers that Ug’s screeners can be even more selective in the rocks they take. Many good rocks are screened out that even the screeners agree are good but for one reason or another they just wouldn’t bring in as much meat and berries as another rock.

Ug is now getting so much meat and berries in trade that some of it begins to rot because he can’t eat it fast enough. Life is good.

One day a rock bringer takes one of his rejected rocks and hits it with his club. Much to his surprise, the rock shatters into a thousand tiny pebbles very similar to those sold by Ug.

Ug sees this and laughs. “Moron. Those pebbles are crap because my people didn’t approve them. Nobody will want those. Just stop.”

The rock bringer pays Ug no mind. He gathers his pebbles and sells them to a few people in the village.

Ug sees this and laughs harder. “Moron. Nobody will want those gray pebbles when they are used to our brown pebbles. Besides, my people drag pebbles to every village and they know me. Just stop.”

Another rock bringer sees the first rock bringer’s small success. She smashes a rock of her own, but hits it many more times than the norm. The resulting pebbles are much smaller but similarly round and shiny. They are also much easier to carry. She sells a handful in the village, then carries them to the next village in a bag and sells them at a lower cost than Ug’s larger pebbles.

Ug sees this and laughs even harder. “Morons. Maybe you will sell a few of those tiny pebbles, but people will never prefer them to my larger pebbles. Just stop.”

Several others see the small successes of the new tiny pebbles and begin breaking their own rocks into tiny pebbles.

The rock bringers who still supply rocks to Ug see this and get angry. “Morons. Those pebbles weren’t approved by Ug’s screeners. You should keep taking them to Ug, like we do. You aren’t real rock bringers.”

Someone in another village trains a dog to carry a piece of wood with a pebble order carved into it and a sack full of berries tied to his neck to the town. Another entrepreneur builds a large slingshot and starts filling the orders by shooting bags full of the tiny pebbles to the other villages.

One of Ug’s managers sees this and begins to worry. “Hey, boss, should we do that, too?”

Ug groans. He complains about the new technology diluting the quality of pebbles, but eventually relents.

“Do it, but charge a lot more for the tiny pebbles so they keep buying the regular pebbles we haul in. People like bigger pebbles. That won’t change. Those morons are starting to annoy me.”

More people begin breaking and selling their own pebbles. Here and there a few of the better tiny pebble makers start to build their own piles of meat and berries. A few more of Ug’s rock bringers start breaking their own rejected rocks and have decent success selling them as tiny pebbles.

Suddenly, Ug’s sales aren’t quite as high as they used to be. His pile of meat and berries is getting smaller and smaller.

Both Ug and his rock bringers cry out, “All those tiny self-crushed pebbles are crap! They aren’t as polished or brown as our pebbles! This is bad for pebble buyers!”

A passing pebble buyer hears them and stops. He looks at the huge pile of tiny self-crushed pebbles next to Ug’s pebbles. “You know, a lot of these tiny pebbles are pretty bad. They are jagged and moldy.”

“Yes!” Ug exclaims. “You need me and my screeners to give you only the pebbles we think are quality so you don’t have to waste your time on all that crap!”

The pebble buyer digs a little deeper into the pile. “Wait a minute. Here’s a good one. It’s tiny, but I like it.”

Ug scratches his head as confusion sets in. "What are you talking about?"

“Here’s another. And another.” The buyer keeps digging and removes several more tiny self-crushed pebbles from the pile.

“You know, Ug, I really don’t mind digging through the pile. It’s actually kind of fun to look for the good ones. They are totally different from yours,” says the pebble buyer.

“What do you know?” grumbles Ug. “I’ve been selling pebbles longer than you have been alive.”

Suddenly, a very hungry dire wolf appears behind Ug.

Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp.

Gulp.

Ug is no longer the pebble making king but he did make a tasty snack.

What is the moral of the story?

Don’t get too comfortable on your pile of rocks because you never know when a big friggin wolf might come along and eat you.

Final cover for Silver Shells: A Werewolf Gunslinger Tale

2010-08-24T17:16:00.004-05:00

***UPDATE!! Scroll down to the bottom to see the final cover.

I started the Werewolf Gunslinger short stories as a fun side project and a way for people to get a taste of my writing before delving into my novel, Lucifera's Pet. Thus far, Werewolf Gunslinger - Volume 1 has been downloaded 826 times and Volume 2 has been downloaded 528 times from Smashwords.

I put the original cover art for those together from a mishmash of photos and images with some digital effects thrown in. Every time I look at them, I cringe. New covers are long overdue.

I decided to take a shot and produce a couple of pen and ink drawings for the covers. I did three rough sketches last night. The first two were not fit to be seen by human beings ... you know ... with their eyes. They are bad. They are so bad that it would be a shame if they were described to a person who could not see because they would then also be subjected to the horror of the shoddy images as well.

The image below is the least awful of the three. It isn't exactly what I want, but it's getting there.

The moon and Lily's eyes will be red and she will most likely be holding both guns in a bit more dynamic pose. The guns themselves will be larger to fit the actual scale of a Walker Colt. I may go with a more stylized look as well.

UPDATE!!!

Several sketches later, I did a very quick one that has become my favorite so far:

I liked this one so much that I decided to reproduce it in ink:

Update 9-6-2010
Twelfth try if you're counting. Finished with ink and shaded with charcoal. I'll at least give this one a preliminary look as a completed cover. Stay tuned and let me know what you think.

Update - 9-14-2010

Okay. This is the final, final, final update for Silver Shells. Let me know what you think:

Big thanks to everyone who stuck with me on this one through my many revisions. Now, do me an even bigger favor and go read the story!

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/10710

Cheers!

Why independent/self-publishing?

2010-08-18T18:01:00.003-05:00

(This post is part of an indie publishing blog carnival hosted by Chris Kelly at Dun Scaith. Click here to view the other blogs in the carnival!)

I foolishly indicated that I would post a limerick to sum up why I choose to self publish. Here goes:

I was asked by a lad, “Why self-publish?”
“Is it because your work is all rubbish?”
“Perhaps,” I said.
While patting his head.
“Now give me some sauce for my fried fish.”

Thank you. I wrote that in forty-five seconds and I would like to submit it as my entry for worst limerick of all time.

I’m joking.

It actually took me four days. And I don’t eat fried fish. And I will cry like a baby if you don’t tell me you love it. I’m talking dripping snot and heaving here, people. I need validation!!! If you don’t like it, I’ll rewrite it again and again and again until you love it!!!

Wait a minute. On second thought, I won’t rewrite my crappy limerick. I also don’t need the validation, but I’ll get to that.

I have enjoyed many of Stephen King’s works. He is one of the biggest success stories of genre fiction based on fame and money. At this point in his life, he could write a 25 word manuscript on a napkin and get paid handsomely for it.

King is one of the old-school, hardcore writers who will tell you that an aspiring writer needs to receive enough rejection slips to wallpaper an entire room before he or she is ready to have something appear in print.

Is he right?

It’s possible. Reason dictates that the more you practice something, the better you become.

If you’re writing solely to land a publishing contract and get some modest advance money, then Spooky Steve’s words are probably true. Keep on cranking out stories until you find out what the masses will pay for on a regular basis. Then lather, rinse, repeat.

This soul-sucking, alarmingly masochistic method is not for everyone.

Take me, for example. I have a full-time career outside of writing and a family I enjoy spending time with. Two kiddos tackle me when I walk in the door and want to play until bedtime. After the munchkins are in bed, my wife and I spend as much time together as we can. On the weekends, we do family stuff. If you ask me to describe myself, the words “husband” and “father” will pop up way before the word “writer.”

Still, I have stories I want to tell.

Scratch that.

I have stories I NEED to tell.

If I go by Steve’s write till you bleed method with my limited writing time, I might be “ready” for publication by the time I’m 80.

For me, self-publishing is an alternative. I don’t expect to be able to retire to Maui from my self-publishing profits, but I am finding readers who enjoy what I have written. I am building an audience as I build worlds in my fiction. With every Kindle, Smashwords, B&N, or print Amazon sale, there is one more person who will also pick up my next book and tell their friends about it.

There are plenty of people who consider self-publishing to be a blight on the literary world. These days, it seems everyone believes that a writer must undergo a painful metamorphosis that sees them becoming a hideous amalgamation of Dan Brown and Stephanie Meyer in an attempt to appeal to an agent who will shower them with contracts and cash.

How exciting.

I think I’ll pass.

Going indie is not a sure-fire path to riches and fame. If that’s all you’re after, you might want to audition for a job as a rock star. I think the odds are better.

If you’re smart, willing to work your ass completely off (I’m talking nothing left but bones), and have a ton of talent, you can do well with self-publishing.

Former house-published author J.A. Konrath made waves in independent publishing before partnering with Amazon. Zoe Winters and Kait Nolan have both sold far in excess (thousands, in fact) of that magical 150 book number that naysayers consider the drop dead point for self-published works (see the hilarious Zoe Who? videos for details). If Zoe and Kait wallpapered their respective utility rooms with rejections from publishing companies, would they eventually find a traditional publisher? Of course, but I doubt I would have had the opportunity to read their self-published stories that I have enjoyed. And that would be a shame.

Are there some crappy/sub-par self-published works out there? Absolutely. Some readers might lump my writing into that category, and that’s okay. I could probably tweak story elements and water down the language and violence to grab a wider audience or crank up the sex and go full-on erotica and garner still more readers from that genre. Maybe if I did those things and rewrote the story a few hundred times for submission to publishers, I might find one who is willing to give me a shot after I collect my own stack of wallpaper.

Yep.

This is the sound of me not giving a shit:

“…”

I don’t write my stories with the intention of putting dollar signs in the eyes of an editorial assistant. I write for the guy who is tired of seeing monsters treated with kid gloves. I write for the woman who gets pissed off that the heroine needs a big strapping hero to save the day for her. More than anything, I write for myself.

I write what I want. I publish when I want. I answer to no one but myself. I market myself and my books to the extent that I choose. That’s what self-publishing truly means to me: the freedom to succeed or fail with no one else to blame or congratulate but myself.

My book, Lucifera’s Pet, is a violent and sexy dark fiction tale of werewolves and vampires. If shiny, abstenant vampires make you vaguely uneasy, connect with me below:

Website: http://www.luciferaspet.com
Blog: http://werewolfkibble.blogspot.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/WerewolfMike
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/luciferaspet
Smashwords (Free eBooks): http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/mtmurphy

The trinkets my characters own are pricey. Who knew?

2010-08-02T14:50:00.000-05:00

Just for fun, I decided to look up pricing for the hand guns carried by the title character in my Werewolf Gunslinger short stories.

The Werewolf Gunslinger, Lily Farrell, carries two 1847 Walker Colt revolvers. The Walker has a reputation for being the largest and most powerful hand gun of its time. It was so large that most of them were relegated to a saddle holster. It was difficult for someone to shoot one of them. Holding and firing two of them at the same time was nigh impossible for a human being. Having a female werewolf carry two of these weapons is a visual I couldn't resist.

I'd love to purchase two of these bad boys and put them in a display case along with the Werewolf Gunslinger anthology book when it is released next year. There is only one problem: Walker Colts run $100,000 to $200,000 a piece if you can find one.

My birthday is later this month, so if anybody wants to surprise me, here is a link to a Walker up for sale.

My vampire, Lucifera, from Lucifera's Pet, has a wakizashi crafted by Sengo Muramasa. She rarely uses the weapon, preferring to keep it as a conversation piece. Again, if you're looking for gift ideas, here is one that isn't exactly right, but it is pretty darn close. It's a steal at $3,995.

Yeah. $4 G's. I didn't forget to add a decimal. If it were an actual Muramasa, you'd have to multiply that price by 250, at least.

I think I'll just stick to writing about characters who own this stuff.

What trinkets do fictional characters have that you would like to add to your real-life collection?

Lady Gaga and Werewolf imagery

2010-07-29T14:02:00.000-05:00

Say what you want about Lady Gaga. The woman can paint a picture with words.

Selected Lyrics from "Monster" - by Lady Gaga (2009)

"Look at him
Look at me
That boy is bad
And honestly
He’s a wolf in disguise
But I can’t stop staring in those evil eyes

I asked my girlfriend if she’d seen you round before
She mumbled something while we got down on the floor baby
We might’ve fucked not really sure, don’t quite recall
But something tells me that I’ve seen him, yeah before

That boy is a monster"

"He licked his lips
Said to me
'Girl you look good enough to eat'
Put his arms around me
Said 'Boy now get your paws right off me'"

"I wanna Just Dance
But he took me home instead
Uh oh! There was a monster in my bed
We french kissed on a subway train
He tore my clothes right off

He ate my heart and then he ate my brain

That boy is a monster"

That sounds to me like an evening with a gentleman werewolf. I wonder if the second date was as eventful as the first.

Is this a musical masterpiece? That's debatable, but I like it.

What song helps you get into a writing frame of mind?

Werewolf Week + read my interview at Dun Scaith

2010-07-29T13:04:00.001-05:00

Chris Kelly, the mastermind behind independent U.K. publisher Scathach, has declared the week of August 1st through August 7th to be Werewolf Week! Who am I to argue?

Head over to his blog, Dun Scaith, for werewolf goodness. You will also find an interview with your favorite not famous yet but slightly interesting author of werewolfery. Care to guess who it is?

No, not her.

Or him.

Her either.

What? That guy doesn't even write!

I'm talking about me, chowderhead.

Just go read the fucking interview already. :)

A Reader's Manifesto: 10 Things I Want From a Novel

2010-07-14T13:33:00.000-05:00

Today, I sat back and thought about what I like to see in a book. I have started countless novels in my life and set many of them aside unfinished for one reason or another. I have compiled a list of open declarations to the writing community. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, but these are the things I want when I read a book for pleasure.

1.    The Big Bad
I want a villain who is larger than life and seemingly evil incarnate but is three-dimensional enough to support his or her own story if needed.

2.    The Han Solo
I want a hero who is imperfect and fallible, but still tough and resourceful enough to make me stop and say, “damn, that was cool,” every now and then.

3.    Action
I want action and plot. I do not want to wade through ten pages of mind-numbing literary prose that does not advance the story before getting to the meat of a chapter.

4.    Sex
When there is sex, don’t cop out on the description. The characters should be as real as they can be, and real people have sex.

5.    No Bedpost Notches
I do not, however, want to see a hero who has sex with any and everyone he or she meets. I don’t do that in real life and I don’t care to read about it.

6.    No Kid Gloves
When there is violence, don’t cop out on that either. If it is graphic, that is fine as long as it serves a larger purpose within the story.

7.    Humor
I want to see at least a little humor in a book. Even if the story is a serious one, every tale can benefit from some comic relief.

8.    Tension
Bring on the danger and tension. If there is no sense of urgency for the characters, then there is no sense of urgency for me to keep reading.

9.    No deus ex machina
I want a story that is fantastic but still adheres to its own rules. If it seems impossible for your protagonist to prevail in the end, then you better have a damn good explanation if they manage to do it.

10.   Do not waste my time
I do not have nearly as much time to read as I would like, so please don’t make me waste it.

That’s my short list. I tend to follow these guidelines in my own writing as well.

What do you want from a good book?

Favorite Villains

2010-07-12T13:18:00.001-05:00

Favorite Villains
Those of you who have read my novel and short stories have probably realized that I prefer to read and write about villains. It’s not that I admire what they do. Quite the opposite, in fact. It’s that every good story needs a strong villain. The villain doesn’t always have to be a person. Just ask Captain Ahab.
Today I am looking at five of my personal favorite villains. Some are from popular literature. Some are from other media outlets like comics, animation, or even video games.

1. The Joker – Batman comics, animated series, and movies. Created by Gil Kane.

He’s a homicidal lunatic. When he isn’t causing havoc in Gotham, he is locked up in Arkham Asylum and haunting the dreams of the victims who have lived through his crimes. Appearing as the stereotypical king’s fool from a deck of playing cards, his jovial visage belies his malevolent intentions. Even as Batman fights to protect the innocent, the Joker seeks to undermine society as a whole and bring everything and everyone crashing down with him.

2. Sephiroth – Final Fantasy VII video game and Advent Children motion picture. Created by Tetsuya Nomura.

Sephiroth begins the story as a war hero and top operative of an elite group of warriors. He is driven insane when he discovers that he is actually a government biological experiment created from the cells of a powerful and malevolent monster that fell from the sky centuries earlier. The planet’s most powerful champion becomes its worst nightmare. His descent from hero to madman and his attempt to destroy the world and use it as a vessel to sail the cosmos fuel the story for this classic game.

3. Lestat de Lioncourt – Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice.

Before he was the hero of his own novel, Lestat was the antagonist of Rice’s first novel in the series. He is cruel, flamboyant, selfish, and reckless. He torments the novel’s protagonist, Louis de Pointe du Lac, after forcing him into an unwanted life of immortality. He had little regard for his human prey, often toying with them before he fed. In the second book of the Vampire Chronicles, Lestat narrates and gives his history and exploits a more positive spin, but he is still clearly a villain at heart.

4. Lord Voldemort – Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

He is an unscrupulous wizard who thinks nothing of murdering a child to further his plans. In spite of, or perhaps because of his half-wizard lineage, he has a deep-seated hatred of all half-blood magic users. His name is so feared that no one who knows of him will speak it aloud lest he or his followers somehow track them down. His own fear and loathing of death drives every aspect of his existence. While most effective villains should have at least some redeeming quality to them, Voldemort is the exception to this rule. He is evil through and through.

5. Angelus – Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Created by Joss Whedon.

The polar opposite to the noble and tormented Angel, Angelus is gregarious and unapologetic. His unrivaled sadism earned him the title of “scourge of Europe” during the 1800s. As a villain, he is unrelenting and cold, using any and every means possible to demoralize and devastate his victims. Despite the depth of his evil, Angelus is forever changed by a gypsy curse that restores his soul. Weighed down by the guilt from his actions, he takes on the name Angel and begins working to atone for the atrocities he committed. Despite his newfound heroic nature, removal of his soul will cause him to revert to his murderous persona causing Angelus to be his own biggest antagonist.

This is my short list of favorites. Now, who are your favorite villains and what makes them so memorable?

M.T. Murphy is the author of Lucifera’s Pet, a violent and sexy dark fiction tale of werewolves and vampires. Connect with him below:
Website: http://www.luciferaspet.com
Blog: http://werewolfkibble.blogspot.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/WerewolfMike
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/luciferaspet
Smashwords (Free eBooks): http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/mtmurphy

Author Interview: Zoe Winters Part 2

2010-05-28T08:58:00.001-05:00

Zoe Winters's first novella, Kept, has become a mainstay in the top ten gothic romance titles on Amazon.com’s bestsellers list. The follow up, Claimed, is receiving rave reviews and quickly climbing up the list as well. The third novella in the trilogy, Mated, is now available and also racking up glowing endorsements from satisfied readers. Recently I had the opportunity to conduct the following interview with Zoe via chat. We had so much fun that I had to divide the interview into two parts. This is the second part.

Part Two

MTM: The Anthony character really develops from Kept to Claimed. He seemed to be just another evil vampire in Kept, but shows another side in Claimed. Did you have that planned for the character all along?

ZW: As soon as I finished with Kept, I got the idea for Charlee and Anthony's story. And Anthony IS an evil vampire. He's the same dude. He just loves Charlee. Love can make men into puppies.

MTM: Nuh uh! … Okay, yeah, that’s true.

ZW: You did it in Lucifera's Pet. Your werewolf was a total badass, but he loved Lucifera and showed her that softer side. But I hadn't planned for Anthony and Charlee as a couple from the very very beginning, not when I was writing Kept, because originally it wasn't going to be a series. It just sort of sprawled out that way. You can bet the side Anthony shows Charlee is not the side almost anyone else ever sees of him.

MTM: Do you find that makes the softer scenes carry even more weight?

ZW: I think so, yes. A reader also commented to me that she thought given the circumstances, that a sex scene would have weakened the romantic aspects. Sometimes it's hotter when a guy shows some restraint. I think that's part of what makes Anthony a likeable hero people can get behind even though he's so morally gray.

MTM: For an evil character such as Anthony, restraint is a surprising trait.

ZW: Well he's actually got a ton of self-control. He's restrained himself from biting Charlee for so long. It was the drugs that screwed his record up, lol. Combined with werecat blood.

MTM: Of course, but when it was revealed that he hadn't fed from her before even though he could have, that brought a level of complexity to the character for me.

ZW: He doesn't want her in this world. Doesn't want her to see the monster in him because he's afraid he'll lose the banter they have. She makes him feel like a person.

MTM: So, supernatural beings exist outside of "normal" society, but they still have their own problems and hang-ups?

ZW: Of course. Doesn't everyone? :P

MTM: Humanity within the monster ... are any of the characters in their world beyond redemption?

ZW: I'm really not sure. I think many "won't" change. I'm not sure that means they "can't." Actually Linus is kind of beyond redemption but that's a moot point. I can't really see Callie changing either. (villains in Claimed.)

MTM: On your writing in general, I would describe it as "all killer no filler." Have you always written that way or did that develop over your writing career?

ZW: Well Kept is the first thing I put out, so I feel weird calling anything before that a "career." Hell, I feel weird saying "career" now. I have quite a way to go for career, I think. Maybe in ten years I can call it a career. But, I've always tried to skip the boring parts. It was a revelation to me when I realized I didn't have to write super long fiction if I wrote better at a shorter length. I figure if I can't still be entertained by a section on the 50th reading, a reader doesn't need it the first time.

MTM: The novella concept worked really well for the Blood Lust stories. Will you continue that trend for future books in this series?

ZW: I think the future work will be shorter novels. The world is starting to expand out to the point where I need a little more space to work so to speak. But they won't be super long novels. We're talking probably around 65k words where Claimed and Mated are each around 35k. I "may" write some novellas in this series in the future, but if so they will probably be extra material and not the main story.

MTM: I asked this question in my blog and several readers got a kick out of it. Hollywood comes knocking on your door and wants to make a movie version of one or all of the Bloodlust stories. What is your dream cast and/or director for the big screen version?

ZW: LOL, man I have no idea, but dream director would probably be Joss Whedon. Though then again his vision would try to usurp my vision and then... yeah. I'm too much of a control freak. I don't see a movie being made, LOL. I know it's completely wrong. I know people dream about their book being made into a movie, but all I can think about is how they'd try to totally change everything so it was more like fanfic than what I wrote and then I'd be pissed and fans of the books wouldn't like it.

MTM: If Joss Whedon were at the helm, half of all your couples would end up pushing up daisies.

ZW: OH I KNOW. He'd break everybody up.

MTM: Hollywood doesn't have a great track record for novel adaptations.

ZW: No, they don't. Except for Rowling and that's only cause she was already famous. She had script approval. So it's a nice idea but unless I "really" needed the money, I can't see it. It pisses me off too much what Hollywood does to perfectly good stories. If they don’t like what's there they should make up their own story without using someone else's name.

MTM: Is there any argument for someone throwing himself or herself into the grind of traditional publishing today?

ZW: LOL, that's a big can of worms! If I say no, then a hundred trad pubbed authors will suddenly appear out of a purple mist to tell everyone exactly why I'm wrong :P But honestly, and I can only go on my personal beliefs here... but I truly believe digital publishing is the future. I believe being well-positioned now for when things really explode is the smart thing to do. A trad publisher will mismanage your e-rights and use agency pricing models and just generally make it impossible for you to get high sales rankings in E unless you're already famous. Already famous people are in an awesome position. Brand new people? Not so much. It's just… 7-10 years is a long damn time to be unable to control your digital rights not worth it to sit on the Titanic deck chairs just to hear the last songs played.

MTM: Great analogy.

ZW: Thanks.

MTM: I have never been a fan of the advice given by old school writers that you must wallpaper an entire room with rejection letters before you are "ready" to put your work out for the world to see. What advice can you give a new author on making sure their work is as good as it can be before they self-publish?

ZW: I agree that's pathologically masochistic. I think they need to get the most brutally honest critique partners and editors they can find to help them. Not friends and family. People who can write. Who understand the genre. Because you can't judge the quality of your own work. That's true even as an indie. There is always stuff I don't catch or don't see. So you HAVE to surround yourself with wise council. Those people will make or break you. If you don't take this vetting process seriously you're going to have your underwear on your head. I'm just saying.

MTM: Personally, I have a friend from Slovenia who pulled no punches on my manuscript, and I appreciate her for that. Is it sometimes difficult to find a brutally honest beta reader?

ZW: It can be. people don't want to hurt your feelings or get yelled at. And sometimes there are those who just want to rip you apart and cut you down. You have to find people who can be honest with you without being verbally abusive or making you otherwise feel like poop. Sometimes it's an intentional thing, and sometimes just a personality clash.

MTM: Cary Town sure feels like a real place. Those of us from the south can spot certain things that really bring it to life. I live a half mile from a Piggly Wiggly grocery store myself. Is the setting for your trilogy based on any town in particular?

ZW: Not Cary Town, no. Cary Town isn't in the south, though Anthony has been in the south. Which is why his Piggly Wiggly reference doesn't make sense to Paul. They aren't in the south and Paul doesn't know what a Piggly Wiggly is. Golatha Falls, the setting for Save My Soul, is an imaginary town in Georgia and parts of it are like an alternate universe version of my town. And the house from Save My Soul exists. Sometimes I walk past it and say, "There's where Luc and Anna live." LOL.

MTM: Thank you for letting me pick your brain. I’d love to do this again sometime down the road.

ZW: Thanks for having me! And sure. Sorry I talk so much that you had to break it into two interviews!

MTM: No worries! It will give me the chance to pretend that I interviewed you twice. ;)

~The novellas that make up Zoe's Blood Lust Trilogy, Kept, Claimed,and Mated,are all available on Amazon.

Connect with Zoe Winters here:

http://www.zoewinters.org/
http://zoewinters.wordpress.com/
http://twitter.com/zoewinters

Author Interview: Zoe Winters Part 1

2010-05-26T01:24:00.001-05:00

Today, I am honored to welcome independent author and self-publishing guru Zoe Winters to Werewolf Kibble. With electronic books growing in popularity at an exponential rate, Zoe stands at the front of a wave of talented self-published authors who are breaking into the game that has belonged almost exclusively to the big publishing houses.

Her first novella, Kept, has become a mainstay in the top ten gothic romance titles on Amazon.com’s bestsellers list. The follow up, Claimed, is receiving rave reviews and quickly climbing up the list as well. The third novella in the trilogy, Mated, releases today. Recently I had the opportunity to conduct the following interview with Zoe via chat. We had so much fun that I had to divide the interview into two parts. Here is part one.

MTM: Zoe, thanks for taking the time for this interview. Since Mated is novella three of the Blood Lust trilogy, what characters from the first two stories are appearing in this one?

ZW: Jane, a side character from Claimed, is the heroine and Charlee and Dayne and Greta all make brief cameos. Anthony "sort of" does but he's "off camera."

MTM: When we last saw Jane in Claimed, she was in the arms of fledgling vampire, Paul. What happens between the end of that story and Mated?

ZW: Charlee and Anthony get immediately wrapped up in the politics of running the coven. Paul being a fledge still can't really contribute in any meaningful way so he's sort of pushed to the fringes. He's got this irrational hatred toward Charlee or "that human Anthony's with" because it's changed the dynamic of his friendship with Anthony. He's figured out Jane can take more pain than your average human, and so he's been taking his anger out on her. So basically Jane is in an abusive situation, which is exactly where she was before Gregory rescued her.

MTM: Did her experience with Gregory the vegetarian vampire change her in any way or is she still desperately seeking a vampire who will turn her?

ZW: She just wants to survive. And becoming a vampire is the only way she knows to get them to leave her alone. She needs something that will take her out of this victim space, but given her peculiar situation of being able to sense vampires and having some of that blood in her veins, she's somewhat perpetually trapped.

MTM: Tell me a little bit about the main players and what we will see in Mated.

ZW: Jane ends up with Cole, the alpha of the werewolf pack because of a gambling debt her abusive vampire... I hesitate to say 'boyfriend'... has accrued. Cole takes Jane in lieu of ten grand

MTM: I'm sure Jane appreciates being bartered for a marker.

ZW: LOL. Oh she's freaked the hell out. But personally I think what Paul was going to do otherwise was worse. He was planning on passing her around to the other vamps to raise funds. Classy guy, huh?

MTM: Wow. I agree. Boyfriend isn't the right word unless she is used to dating ogres.

ZW: LOL Unfortunately "ogres" are all she's ever really known due to her particular gift. She's really more his pet. And not in a positive cutesy way. But she can't help it. She can see/sense vampires because she has their blood in her veins. They pretty much make it their mission in life to punish her for that. She's wanted to be turned in order to be safe, but they won’t turn her. They've basically enslaved her instead.

MTM: No mind tricks for her then?

ZW: Nope. They can't thrall her, another reason they hate her. They could just kill her, but vamps like playing with their food too much. They're more amused by the prospects of keeping her alive. So she's basically been passed from sadistic psycho to sadistic psycho except for the brief reprieve when Gregory was protecting her.

MTM: My favorite character of the series so far is the vampire, Anthony. He is about as far from the typical “tortured vampire with a heart of gold” as it gets.

ZW: Thank you! I don't care for sparkly vampires. Vampires are supposed to be bad. Is it wrong that I LOVE when Anthony says all nonchalant-like, "Well, she's mine now"?

MTM: I did catch that and it was cool! He strikes me as being along the lines of badass Spike from the second season of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Is that a fair comparison?

ZW: Oooh! yeah I hadn't thought of that, but you're right. He is definitely in the same category as season two Spike. He's very morally gray. As becomes clear in later books, sometimes he'll be hero-like sometimes villain-like.

MTM: The men of your universe seem to fall into those gray areas a lot. Are there any "goody two shoes" guys floating around in there?

ZW: Oh good lord no. I don’t find that sexy at ALL. I could never bring myself to let one of my heroines sleep with a pussy. I think Dayne was about as wimpy as they get, though Cole is a very gentle alpha but he scares the crap out of Jane at first cause the wolves have a worse rep than the vamps. But that's all political BS.

MTM: I think most people would agree that morally ambiguous characters are much more interesting. Personally, I prefer it when the leading lady has some badass in her as well.

ZW: I think my heroines have got some fire in there, though they also are in messed up situations and I HATE when females in fiction act totally unlike real females because it might look "weak." Well um, if he could crush you easily you're not going to be too brave until you know you're safe.

MTM: I like that about your females. They don't turn into Ripley from Aliens just because they are the protagonist.

ZW: There are different types of strength and I like to think my female characters are strong, intelligent, and sassy, but they aren't unrealistic. Even though Greta was stronger physically than Dayne, she wasn't kicking his ass all the time.

MTM: Dayne was very much about how others perceived him. He was widely regarded by the Therians as dangerous but it seemed as though he may have been much darker before Greta came along. Had his character mellowed some by the time of the events in Kept?

ZW: Well he was never really a badass, not to his reputation's degree anyway. He'd fallen in love with Jaden (Greta's adoptive mother) and she'd been a part of a plot to hurt him and get him out of the way. He went in thinking he was saving her and really he had to save himself, but all the werecats he killed in self defense gave him this reputation. So in order to protect himself from further betrayal, he just withdrew and let people believe it. Basically a lot of it is a protective wall because Jaden really hurt him, and here he thinks Greta is there to do the same thing.

MTM: After Blood Lust, will you revisit any of the same couples?

ZW: Actually yes. There will be future books where some of these characters will play pivotal roles in what happens, and one of them will be a romance between a previous couple as they go through a challenge their love has to grow stronger for. Right now I'm setting up a lot of the power structure, such as with Dayne and Anthony and Cole and Cain (he's an incubus you meet in Mated). A lot of these men because of their positions of power will play major parts in future books.

MTM: Can you tell me a little more about Cain? Does he protect Jane?

ZW: Cain is too much of a serial killer to be protecting anyone at the moment.

MTM: Sounds like my kind of guy. LOL

ZW: Haha. Well, Cain kills his food. He's evil. (Since there is reincarnation in my world and Cain knows that, he doesn't see it as "ending" someone, just inconveniencing them and sending them back to start.) Though he gets his own book later. He's also quite charming when he wants to be. And he's ultimately redeemable.

MTM: Redeemable? How so?

ZW: Actually, yes. When you find out Cain's history it will make a lot more sense. But let's face it... if you watched Buffy, Spike killed humans for freaking EVER before falling in love with Buffy. So did Angel. And yet we let them be heroes of their own stories. We don't stop to think about the fact that they are basically reformed serial killers.

MTM: Save The Cat!

ZW: Haha. What?

MTM: LOL. It’s a book by Blake Snyder. He suggests if you put a villain in a heroic situation, the reader can forgive all.

ZW: YES. LOL. It's much more interesting when you can make a reader have sympathy for the devil, but I have an unholy crush on Cain. It's so wrong. But he knows he's getting his own book

MTM: How many books do you currently have in your mind for this series?

ZW: At least 10, but 8 are semi-planned already. I'm creating a big world that I can play in endlessly. Because we aren't following every single character through every book, hopefully it will stay fresh way past the point a series usually starts to get blah blah.

MTM: That’s a great way to keep breathing life into it and avoid the dreaded Anita Blake syndrome.

ZW: Oh, we'll also have some books set in "the future" about 20 years from now when everybody knows about vampires and therians and such and everything is crazy. Then for the next book, we'll hop back to the present where people don't know. One of the heroines is going to be Charlee and Anthony's daughter.

MTM: Spoilers!

ZW: So, see? Anthony and Charlee have sex!

MTM: HA!

ZW: That wasn't TOO spoilery though. Just a little. I also like throwing out little easter eggs, so people following and paying attention catch them.

~Stay tuned for Part 2 of my Interview with Zoe on Friday. Claimed and Mated are both available now.

Connect with Zoe Winters here:

http://www.zoewinters.org/
http://zoewinters.wordpress.com/
http://twitter.com/zoewinters

Author Interview: R. Van Saint and A.R. Braun

2010-05-19T08:30:00.003-05:00

MTM: For you dark fiction and horror fans out there, allow me to introduce you to R. Van Saint and A.R. Braun, co-authors of the upcoming anthology, Tales From The Abyss. This collection will be available exclusively through R. Van Saint’s website, www.zerotorockstar.com for readers who sign up for the Zero to Rockstar Media newsletter. To lift a line from RVS’s description, Tales From The Abyss consists of “weird-ass and scary stories for weird-ass and scary people.”

Sign me up!

I appreciate both of you taking the time to conduct this interview. Let’s get started.

What would you like for readers to know about you and your work before they delve into it?

ARB: I can't speak for Ro, but with my work, I try to find answers to why people act the way they do, when they act strange. It makes me feel better when there's a reason, like the people who tell themselves, "That person must've had a rough day." It just makes me feel better about people. I also tend to be very brutal, but that's not because I'm an evil person. Life is brutal, so it makes the work realistic.

RVS: I like to challenge the rules and experiment with format. The subject matter to my stories is usually dark, weird and sometimes absurd. I've dabbled in film and animation so I tend to set up my scenes and dialogue from a cinematic standpoint. I think that helps readers envision the story as they're reading it. I like to write stories around a character typically. I spend a lot of time picking a character's head before I even start a story.

MTM: I think we can all agree that the human mind can be a dark and scary place. What do you think it is about horror and dark fiction that fascinates us?

RVS: The fact that it makes us acknowledge the unspeakable aspects of the human condition. It makes us confront the things that make us uncomfortable. As for the unknown and unexplainable, it's just exciting to explore the what ifs that the genre has to offer.

ARB: It's fun and it's cathartic. We're just ambulance chasers, aren't we? Ha-ha. I saw a study one time on TV saying that we need the feel-good, fake scare to face our fears in real life. I like to think there's a purpose to it, but sometimes it is just because it's fun.

MTM: What are your thoughts on recent books and films within the genre?

ARB: I don't think there's a lot of great ones. It's the same way with music. I'm picky. I don't like a lot of bands. I prefer 70's authors because they were scarier, but that's all a matter of opinion. I think Rosemary's Baby is the scariest—Ira Levin's amazing—but there are some high-quality, new works out there: Scott Smith's The Ruins; Gary A. Braunbeck's Coffin County; Jeff Long's The Descent; The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon by Stephen King and others. With films, I think they've lost the scare factor present in so many movies made in the 60's, 70's and early 80's and have replaced it with CGI. We get about one great movie a year: Prey, The Ruins, The Descent and The Ring are some that I've liked recently.

RVS: A lot of it is derivative but once in a while you come across something different. Derivative is ok if you're in the mood for a blockbuster summer hit mindless entertainment kind of thing. I'm not a big fan of the new remakes that are coming out. If it was great the first time around, don't futz with it. Some of the recent movies I've seen that I actually enjoyed - Let The Right One In & Triangle. Three...Extremes (came out around 2005 I think) was pretty damn original. Dead Snow was fun to watch. As for books - I've enjoyed The Strain by Del Toro and Hogan. Neil Gaiman's work is mind-blowing. I also dig Sarah Langan and Joe Hill's work. I think the sub-par horror films rely too much on gore and violence and not enough on the build-up of suspense. I'm actually doing the opposite - I'm getting into more of the older films (pre-1960s). The last one I watched was The Virgin Spring by Bergman. Wes Craven even said The Last House on the Left is basically a reworking of that film.

MTM: I enjoyed The Ring as well. My wife is from Japan and talked me into watching the original Japanese version before the U.S. remake came out. We watched it on a bootleg video no less, which adds to the freaky factor given the subject matter. Let The Right One In is my favorite vampire film of all time. The upcoming Hollywood remake of that one worries me, but I digress. Is there a particular author, book, or film that has profoundly influenced you as a writer?

ARB: Of course. That's how you avoid writer's block—you read like a fiend and become inspired. I had to read "The Telltale Heart" as a reading assignment in high school, and that was the first time I ever enjoyed my homework. That's when I knew I wanted to do this. Whoever I read at the time will influence a certain short story. One tale up for consideration had rich descriptions influenced by Ray Garton's Live Girls. Other notable influences include: H.P. Lovecraft, Stephen King, Dean Koontz, James Reece, Tamara Thorne and Gary A. Braunbeck.

RVS: Ray Bradbury, Stephen King, Neil Gaiman. They're all prolific and I love their short stories. Chuck Palahniuk for his unique style. I'm a huge fan of Alfred Hitchcock Presents and Night Gallery. I'm also into comic books, one of my all time favs is Rising Stars.

MTM: I am a comic buff myself. Anyone who doesn’t think comics are relevant to literature should read Gaiman’s Sandman series. Amazing stuff. How did the idea for Tales From The Abyss come about?

RVS: Alan and I were just tossing around ideas and this was one of them. We decided to contribute a couple of stories each and make it available for free a) to help spread the word about our individual works and b) to give readers a sample of what we do.

Plus, I've never collaborated with another writer so I figured this would be a fun thing to try.

It's also subscription only and absolutely free, so you have to join the list to receive it on June 1. The list has other perks but this is the initial launch.

ARB: I've always wanted to collaborate with another writer, but it just never happened. There was one time I was going to collab' with Elizabeth Herrington, but it just never came to be. So I was thrilled that Ro was willing to do it. "RSVP" is the first story we wrote together, but it isn't included in Tales. I don't want people to get the wrong idea. Tales is two stories from her and two from me, free, just to give you a taste of what you'll be getting later. The next book will have even better stories and, depending on whether the one we wrote together is published in one of the pro-payment 'zines or not, "RSVP" could possibly be included in the next book. That is the most brutal story I've ever taken part in, so if any of you get a chance to collab' I'd definitely jump at it. Two heads are better than one, the old cliché goes.

MTM: The concept for “RSVP” is intriguing. How does the process for co-authoring a story differ from writing on your own?

RVS: A little bit of compromise goes a long way. It was surprisingly not difficult, for this particular story anyway. I had the idea in my head so I started the story then I sent it off to A.R., I gave him a rough idea of where I needed the story to go but he was free to craft additional characters and just go crazy with it. I was pleased with the result and he just made some minor edits. I expected a little bit of ego clashing from both of us but it wasn't even an issue. I think the secret is to let the other person do what they do best. If you combine your strengths then there's no way to f**k things up really. Plus, we set a realistic deadline and communicated well, which definitely helps.

ARB: Well, to begin with, I wasn't sure how the process even worked. She and I being in different parts of the world, I just guessed that one would start the story and another would finish it. The plot was Ro's idea, so she started it, and I added all the gory details. It worked very well that way so we'll probably continue to do that.

MTM: What can readers expect from Tales From The Abyss? Can you give us a teaser?

ARB: I'll let Ro describe her stories. As far as my pieces, "Alien Consciousness" is what the title suggests. It's about a part of your body taking on a sentient consciousness all its own. I originally wrote the tale for Everyday Weirdness, but it didn't strike the editor's fancy. "The Woman in Black" is a ghost story.

RVS: My stories "The F Bomb" and "Arc of Descent" are connected, using one of the scenes as a link between the two. It's a subtle link but if you're paying attention you'll get it. "The F Bomb" is written during one of my experimental moods, it almost reads like prose and it's a glimpse of the alien and human interaction in an earth where alien beings act as overlords, just because they can and because there are humans who are willing participants to their schemes and experiments. "Arc of Descent" is about one of the experiments I just mentioned. You'll be seeing more from this universe, I think.

MTM: Individually, what is next on your writing agenda after the collaboration?

ARB: We'll collaborate on one more short story e-book, then a novella together, then a novel

RVS: My main focus right now is a zombie novel called Panic in Year 2020, which is a direct result of a short story I wrote. I plan on releasing it in podcast form, completely unabridged, as I'm writing it. This puts a lot of pressure on me to just crank the sucker out but I work best under pressure. I have two other novels right behind that, just taunting me. I have a short story collection that I'm compiling and I'm really excited about, I'm shooting for a Fall 2010 release date for that one. My Sid Valentine universe is expanding as a serial. I'm also writing a script for a graphic novel that I'll be illustrating myself. On top of that, additional collaborations. I'll be posting detailed stuff of all my writing adventures in my production journal (Hooligans only, so you better sign up kids!) once I get that set up. I think that's plenty enough to keep me insanely busy.

MTM: Okay, now for something fun. I love to hear authors’ thoughts on the “Hollywood treatment.” Assume you have just won the equivalent of the literary lottery and a major film studio wants to turn your work into a big-budget motion picture. Which of your stories would you like to see as a film, and who would you want to be involved (actors, director, etc.)? Also, CGI or no CGI?

RVS: This is a tough one, Sid Valentine series would be fun.

Directed by Robert Rodriguez/Q.Tarantino

Sid can be played by Bruce Willis or Will Smith. I'm leaning towards Will Smith, he's more charismatic.

Sid's cousin, CEO of Discord, Inc. can be played by Nick Cage.

(yes, my characters are creatures from myth, folklores, fairy tales living in a modern day metropolis, so I say there's no racial boundaries here in terms of family members).

CGI is fine but shouldn't overpower the film.

Soundtrack - varies, as long as it's bad-ass.

ARB: That would be total dream actualization and the best thing that could happen! *Fingers crossed* I'm counting on all of my solo novels becoming movies when I get an agent and a publisher but, for the sake of this interview, "RSVP," of course. No CGI. I like the horror movies made in the 60's, 70's and early 80's the best. They used the scare element instead of relying on FX. As far as actresses: Emily Perkins, Tatiana Maslany, Katherine Isabelle and Jenna Malone. I don't know about actors. Probably the guys from House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects.

MTM: I hope to see those on the big screen someday soon. I will be looking for my VIP tickets on opening weekend. Big thanks to both of you for taking the time for this interview. I look forward to reading Tales From The Abyss soon!

ARB: Thank you very much for your interest in our labor of love, Mike.

RVS: Thanks for the kick-ass interview and allowing me to embrace my inner media whore. That's always fun.

MTM: If it makes me a media pimp, then I’ll take that as a win!

R. Van Saint is a New Yorker living in Austin, TX. She writes dark/sci-fi/weird/pulp fiction.
An avid blogger. A new media nerd. Soon to be podcaster.
Wanna know more? Follow her adventures and experiments at http://www.zerotorockstar.com/
Don't forget to join The Hooligans.
Twitter: www.twitter.com/zerotorockstar

A.R. BRAUN has numerous publication credits in Downstate Story, the Vermin anthology and the Heavy Metal Horror anthology; Horror Bound magazine; and Micro Horror magazine. “The Interloper” won story of the month through a unanimous vote in the June Full Moon in Bloom issue at SNM Horror, and the piece was included in the anthology, Bonded by Blood 2: a Romance in Red. SNM Horror published two more of his stories. He’ll be included in the upcoming e-book, The Complete Guide to Writing Horror. You can reach A. R. at http://arbraun.com/.

Sign up to get Tales From The Abyss for free on June 1:
http://www.zerotorockstar.com/join-the-hooligans.html

Lucifera's Pet: The Motion Picture!!!

2010-05-17T14:22:00.003-05:00

Ok. The title is a little misleading. Has my novel been opted for a major motion picture? No. Not yet. That doesn’t mean I can’t go ahead and get everything planned out for when Hollywood eventually comes knocking on my door.

This morning, I asked a couple of fellow writers the following question for an upcoming interview:

Assume you have just won the equivalent of the literary lottery and a major film studio wants to turn your work into a big-budget motion picture. Which of your stories would you like to see as a film, and who would you want to be involved (actors, director, etc.)? Also, CGI or no CGI?

I decided I wanted to be the first to answer my own question.

Without further ado, here are the cast and main players in the film adaptation of Lucifera’s Pet:

Director:

Guillermo Del Toro

He has proven that he can do amazing things within a budget. He also can stay faithful to source material and bring even the most absurd characters to life in such a way that you forget about the prosthetics and just see the character. He can also pepper horror with a healthy dose of comedy. GDT is my guy.

Cast:

The Werewolf

Robert Downey Jr.

The lead player has to be able to chew up entire chunks of every scene in which he appears. He also has to be simultaneously psychotic and sympathetic. Who better than “the dude playing the dude disguised as another dude?”

Emil Vladu – Master Vampire

Cary Elwes

Let’s turn back the clock and have Dread Pirate Roberts from The Princess Bride, circa 1987 play the villain. He already has the air of condescension down to a science.

Robert Marrick – Emil’s henchman

Steve Buscemi

Marrick is creepy and he talks with an exaggerated lisp that makes him sound like a snake. I can think of no one better to play him than my favorite creepy actor.

Nash – Lucifera’s consigliore

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

Nash is big, brooding, and never speaks a word. He probably has a little too much charisma for the part, but The Rock will have no trouble filling the role physically.

Christopher Johnson – Newly turned vampire

Justin Long

The awkward, brainy kid from Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, will be perfect as the awkward, brainy vampire.

William O’Connell – werewolf

Daniel Day Lewis

O’Connell is big and boisterous with a mustache as big as all outdoors. He also has two knives: one in his hand and one in your back. Daniel Day Lewis is a lock for the role.

Now for the tough part: casting the title character.

Lucifera Romana – Master Vampire of Los Angeles

Shelly Martinez

Whenever I write Lucifera, Shelly in her former role as “Ariel” is how I picture the character. Would she win an Academy Award? Don't know. Don't care. If I were interested in Academy Awards, I’d rewrite the story about an innocent man on death row that Hollywood usually loves to shower with golden statues.

Supporting cast: Sean Connery as Tarquin. Catherine Zeta Jones as Lucrecia. Sir Anthony Hopkins as Cornelius. David Tennant as James. Valerie Bertinelli as Mary. Christian Slater as “The Mugger.”

Special Effects:

The team from Hellboy and Hellboy 2.

In both films, they bring monsters to life that I never believed would work on the big screen. These guys blend makeup, animatronics, and computer graphics in such a way that you forget you are watching something impossible. I would love to see what they could do with a pack of seven-foot-tall werewolves.

There you have it. That’s my film.

Now for the fun part. Tell me about your movie. You can post your thoughts here or we can make it really fun: Add pictures and put it in your blog, then post the link here. Either way, I want to hear about what your vision will look like on the big screen.

M.T. Murphy is the author of Lucifera’s Pet, a violent and sexy dark fiction tale of werewolves and vampires. Connect with him below:

Website: http://www.luciferaspet.com

Blog: http://werewolfkibble.blogspot.com/

Twitter: http://twitter.com/WerewolfMike

MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/luciferaspet

Smashwords (Free eBooks): http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/mtmurphy

Playing in the graveyard

2010-05-10T10:13:00.000-05:00

I began writing this as a reply to one of Ziggy Kinsella’s blogs over at The Feckless Goblin. I liked the subject so much that I decided to develop the reply into a blog article of my own as well. Be sure to check out Ziggy’s original post here.

My family has owned a cemetery since the 1800s. As a child, I used to play with my cousins amongst the head stones and dirt mounds over fresh graves. It never occurred to me to be frightened of the cemetery's occupants six feet below.

In elementary school I was one of the weird kids. Being a bit of an outsider, I was never frightened by the classic monsters. I pitied Frankenstein’s monster and thought the Wolfman got a bad rap. And Dracula? Well, Dracula was just plain cool.

When I was eleven years old, a movie about Jack the Ripper came on television one Sunday night. The hook was that this movie would reveal the “true” identity of the killer. I had to beg mom and dad to let me stay up past my bed time to watch the ending. I immediately regretted doing so. In the last scene that I remember, the authorities dragged away a royal physician as he ranted about “killing whores” and slashed at the air with his empty scalpel hand. For some reason, that image was even more disturbing to me than the recreations of the killings themselves.

Later that night I was just settling down to sleep when I caught a glimpse of my open closet. There in the darkness stood Jack the Ripper, brandishing his scalpel and waiting for me to fall asleep. I leapt out of bed and closed the door. I returned to bed and pulled the covers tightly over my head. Five minutes later, the handle clicked and the door glided open with a slow, agonizing squeak.

I knew Jack the Ripper wasn’t really in my closet. I knew my closet doorknob didn’t work well and was prone to popping open. I also knew that the door had squeaked like that for years. That didn’t make it any less terrifying.

What scared me the most about the Jack the Ripper scenario was the fact that there was no discernable motive. It was unexplainable brutality and, no matter what the movie said, they never found out who the killer really was. With most monsters, books, or other scenarios there is some sense of order. The villain is eventually revealed and has some grand scheme in mind. It may be horrible and barbaric, but there is a reason behind his or her heinous actions.

The Ripper killings show that human beings sometimes do despicable things for no reason at all. For my painfully logical mind, that is far more frightening than playing in the graveyard.

Connect with me below:

Website: http://www.luciferaspet.com

Blog: http://werewolfkibble.blogspot.com/

Twitter: http://twitter.com/WerewolfMike

MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/luciferaspet

Smashwords (Free eBooks): http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/mtmurphy

Judging a book by its cover

2010-05-07T13:45:00.001-05:00

I grew up reading comic books. I bet I just lost a lot of you right there. Believe it or not, comics can teach us a lot about how people decide whether or not to look at a book. In no other area is a cover image more important than for monthly periodicals.

I spent several years in magazine circulation and learned that readers flock to a pretty cover. One of the magazines I worked with was a food publication. They could have an issue with the best recipes and articles about food written by world renowned chefs and critics, but if they were stuck with a cover image of a wilted bologna sandwich, they wouldn’t sell an issue.

When I was small, my dad would come home from his job chasing bad guys as a State Trooper every Friday and bring me a comic book. We would sit together and read a story about (what else?) chasing bad guys. He didn’t pay attention to covers. He just grabbed whatever comic was on top of the rack at the convenience store on the way home. I grew up with a love of reading and a love of comics.

I drifted out of comics for several years after dad retired and no longer made it by the convenience store each Friday. One day after school, a comic caught my eye: Incredible Hulk #340. The character Wolverine had his claws drawn and a snarl on his face while a reflection of the Hulk’s face showed that the anger was mutual.

I opened the book and found exactly what I hoped to find: those two characters engaging in a brutal battle.

When I browse novels, nothing thrills me more than an exciting, artistic cover. I have been burned enough times to learn never to buy a book based solely on the cover, but that is what draws me to a book. The cover should be a window inside that gives potential readers a taste of things to come.

Blue Moon by Laurell K. Hamilton, is one of my favorite books. It is also the last book in the Anita Blake series that I have been able to finish. Here is the cover art on the version that I originally purchased:

The image is dark and foreboding. There is no question that this is a werewolf tale. I had read one previous book in the series before this one. I bought Blue Moon on the spot and read the other stories leading up to that one shortly thereafter. And then it stopped.

I let a friend borrow my copy of Blue Moon and it was never seen again. I wanted to reread it a few years back and decided to pick up another copy. To my dismay, the image above was now indicative of what that series became. If I were to evaluate Blue Moon based on this image, I would guess that it is a book about a wolf that has sex with a giant smurf. This would be an inaccurate assessment. From what I understand, that does not take place until much later in the series.

One of my favorite books in high school was Surfing Samurai Robots by Mel Gilden. The book can be judged by its cover with 100% accuracy:

When I wrote Lucifera’s Pet, I knew exactly what type of cover I wanted it to have. Alissa Rindels was able to bring the lead characters to life in a painting that became the cover image below. You can take one look and know exactly what to expect.

Will good cover art and design alone sell books? Maybe a few. As a reader, I look for a cover that conveys a true sense of the story contained within a book’s pages. As a writer, I want potential readers to know what they have in store.

Guest Blog by Ziggy Kinsella - The Lords of Uncreativity: The $$$ sign marketing zombies

2010-05-03T12:44:00.000-05:00

I read recently that trashy novels are making a comeback (when did they ever go away, I hear you ask?) Pulp fiction is, apparently, the next big thing. If you can massacre twenty people in the first ten pages and have an anti-hero who makes Marlowesque comments about the absurdity of life in the bluntest language possible, then you’re probably on a winner.

Or maybe not. Maybe I’ve had one too many scotches. But, they, it got me thinking. You know me, I do the thinking thing.

In the big, bad world of book publishing, who is in control? We all know the answer to that, don’t we?

Really. Really we do.

It’s the marketers. It’s the people whose mantra is ROI (Return On Investment). It’s all about money, this publishing lark. It’s not about creativity. Which is why you find people saying that there are no new stories under the sun.

Marketers have heads that are full of clichés. Cliches are good in the ROI world. They are what drive today’s writing, particularly in films.

We live in a do-it-by-numbers world. Your character needs a certain set of cliché driven characteristics to succeed. Your plot needs certain things to get past those devils who call themselves marketers.

There’s nothing new they say. Everything that has been said, has been said. It’s all been done before.

Here’s my thing: We’re kept in a perpetual loop of non-performance because it sells. The marketers say it sells.

Vampires. Werewolves. Don’t you just love them? Me, I think they’ve been done to death.

Here’s a point: There’s nothing new under the sun? Really? Really? Really? Or is that just what They tell us. You know who They are, don’t you? They with the closed minds. They with the limited aspirations. They who stand between you and true creativity.

A marketer will tell you that market forces drive success. If it doesn’t sell, it means it’s no good. And that, my friends, is the big lie. The 100 million dollar pile of horseshit that lies under our feet.

You can’t get a publisher without an agent. You can’t get an agent without a publisher. You can’t get any of those unless you can convince the marketer of your business proposition. It’s all a load of contrived, literary bollocks. Who says your work isn’t good enough? How many of you have read a book and thought: I could do better than that!!!

Let me ask a question: Who are we? Us, who lurk in the dark shadows of the internet, pretending we are worth something.

Who are we?

Are we timid scribes who think we aren’t good enough? Or are we the new lions who have something new to say?

And who are They to stamp on our hopes and dreams? Who are those privileged few to say we don’t mean anything?

Go out there my friends, Break the shackles. Tell them true creativity is here. And it’s here to stay.

Ziggy Kinsella is a Manchester based horror writer with a liking for the macabre and a penchant for the ridiculous. He is currently working on the second draft of his novel CLUBLAND as well as a creepy novella called THE TOWER. Connect with Ziggy below.

Blog: http://fecklessgoblin.blogspot.com

Twitter: http://twitter.com/ZiggyKinsella

Ziggy's short story, "Mavis Trubshaw has left the building," winner of the Spinetinglers short story of the month for May 2010: http://spinetinglers.co.uk/ReadStory789.aspx

The Feckless Goblin: Guest Blog: Memorable Monsters by M.T.Murphy

2010-04-28T12:15:00.000-05:00

The Feckless Goblin: Guest Blog: Memorable Monsters by M.T.Murphy

Guest Blog - The Ramblings of a Condemned Fool by Samantha Anderson

2010-04-26T12:25:00.000-05:00

The title was a subject line of an email my best friend sent me after one of our nastier fights. A fight that I was sure would be the end all of our relationship. It is fitting for this I think, but I have given the blog owner free reign to change it to whatever he wishes.

I was asked by a very dear friend to write something for him to post in his blog, he gave me free range but knows me well enough to know that he had to mention if it was a story, to make it short. Most people I’ve known in my life would take offense to that. I don’t. It’s because he knows how detailed I am with stories that simply a blog wouldn’t be enough. So I’ve sat here most of the day and pondered over what to write about and there is one thought that keeps coming to mind…

There is a fine line that is walked every day by a writer, or an artist, anyone of a creative mindset really. It is one where you bare your soul through your stories, your art, your music, whatever it may be. You show the world where the insanity inside of you comes into something more than that, makes sense, becomes something beautiful.

I will admit to reading just about everything I can find on the process of writing as told by other writers. Learning how they got into writing and so forth. This curiosity isn’t because I genuinely want to know what makes the writer behind certain stories tick, it’s to feel as if I belong to something. The thing that I have found to be almost universal is that at the start of their writing career, when they first got published, or even had the idea to get published, most of the people that surrounded their life were not in any way knowledgeable or understanding of that process. Meaning that I’m a firm believer that unless you’re a writer, you will never understand the battles that goes on in a writer’s head or heart. Just as I, being a writer, will never understand the creative process of a musician, or a painter etc.

Case and point, I have let people both close to me and mere acquaintances read some of the things I write. Not for my own ego… okay maybe a little, but mainly to get a reaction. And someone who should be the port in any storm of my life point blank told me that the things I write leave him to question how I was raised. He doesn’t understand how anyone so ‘normal’ could write anything so morally depraved. This could have been taken a few ways. I could have quit writing, let his opinion affect everything that I hold dear about my deepest love, the gift of word. Or I could simply laugh at his opinion of seeing me as ‘normal’. I have yet to meet a writer or artist of any kind that I would describe as normal. But yet, I feel completely ‘normal’ with them. Because they all understand that there is a raging river of creative mess that runs deeper than imaginable within me.

The fact remains that even now, when I am closer than ever to getting published, that I still feel the incessant need to find out if other writers have the same hang-ups that I do, and what I’ve found is yes. No one person is better than another simply because one is creative or one is ‘normal’. Who cares if people think you’re normal or not? I live with a man who simply doesn’t get the creative process. I love that it is a side of me he can’t impeach on, can’t steal my thunder so to speak. He listens to me ramble about story ideas, or articles I’ve read about whether to self-publish or not. And while his eyes are glazing over, I know that he loves the passion in which this type of thing consumes me, even if he doesn’t fully understand it. It’s okay that he doesn’t. I’ve accepted it.

A co-worker told me the other day while talking about how ‘damaged’ people see me as because of the genres and storylines I choose to write about, that damaged people are dangerous because they know they can survive anything. It made perfect sense to me in a way it wouldn’t to many.

So my point I guess in closing is this. Yes, it is okay to feel like you are the only one going a little insane if you’re creative and not many in your social circle are. It is okay to feel like an outsider at times because of it. The best creators are the insane ones because we’re happy listening to the voices in our heads. We’re all a little damaged I guess, but that’s what makes us able to create the way we do, and I personally wouldn’t have it any other way.

Samantha Anderson’s first novel, The Devil’s Angel, will be published in 2010. Connect with Samantha here:
Blog: http://thexdevilsxangel.blogspot.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/SDAndrsn_Author

Guest Blogs - Starting later today

2010-04-26T12:09:00.000-05:00

I have been very fortunate to meet a number of talented writers in the past few years. Several of them have been kind enough to indulge me by offering their thoughts in a guest blog here.

Little do they realize they are furthering my plans for eventual world domination! Muh ha ha ha ha! (Cough)

Oops. I’m typing my thoughts unfiltered again, aren’t I? Oh well. They’ll find out soon enough. It’s not like they don’t have that same plan anyway. All writers want to take over the world and drag you, the reader, along for the ride even if it is only in the pages of our writing.

The first guest blog is from my friend, up and coming author Samantha Anderson. She has been writing her entire life and soon the world will see her first novel. Stay tuned!

Why Every Writer Should Pay Attention to Star Wars

2010-04-22T14:01:00.001-05:00

Star Wars. Those two words are enough to conjure a thousand images all on their own. I doubt George Lucas had any idea the behemoth his movie would become. Just to clarify, I am speaking only about Star Wars: A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. The three prequels are another discussion entirely.

If you take away the robots, the fantastic scenery, the spaceships, and the ewoks (dear God, please take the ewoks), what you have is the story of a kid who becomes a hero and saves the inhabitants of an entire galaxy. In writing the tale, Lucas was inspired by numerous sources, but he specifically mentions the book, The Hero With a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell.

Campbell summarizes the hero’s journey in the introduction to the book:

“A hero ventures forth from the world of common day into a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and a decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man.”

I can think of countless movies, books, and television series that fall into that pattern. Here are a few:

1. Superman
2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
3. Men in Black
4. Spiderman
5. Lord of the Rings
6. Shrek (Yes, Shrek)
7. Indiana Jones series
8. Xena: Warrior Princess
9. Harry Potter series

Campbell didn’t just come up with the hero story on his own. He examined various myths throughout history and defined and pieced together the themes that appeared over and over. The Odyssey is a prime example. Virtually every religion has at least one story that follows this pattern very closely as well.

It pleases us on a primal level to see the hero or heroine emerge, triumph over extreme adversity, and save us all.

If you want a crash course in the hero’s journey, just follow Luke Skywalker’s path through the Star Wars trilogy. George Lucas did the homework so you don’t have to.

As for me, I’m heading out to pick up a copy of The Hero With a Thousand Faces.

Lucifera's Pet Cover Art Prints

2010-04-19T10:13:00.002-05:00

Lucifera's Pet cover art prints by Alissa Rindels are now available!!!

Now is your chance to own a print of the original cover art for Lucifera’s Pet by Alissa Rindels. The painting illustrates the two protagonists in a pivotal scene from the novel in front of a symbolic blood splattered full moon.

It is available in 11”x14” and 8”x10” sizes.

Visit Alissa’s gallery at the title link. Her work is heavily influenced by Brom and is based in the realms of gothic, horror, fantasy, and surrealism. Prints are available for all of her original pieces in 11”x14” and 8”x10” sizes. If you are lucky, you might be able to bid on one of her original paintings on eBay or contact her directly for a commissioned piece. It is only a matter of time until she hits it big, so buy some of her art now!

Book Review - Pretty When She Dies: A Vampire Novel by Rhiannon Frater

2010-04-19T10:08:00.006-05:00

College student Amaliya awakens in a shallow grave a newly turned vampire. As she stumbles through the remains of her life, the line between good and evil blurs replaced instead by thoughts of survival and death. Pursued by her evil maker, Amaliya flees across the Texas plains, leaving corpses in her wake.

The first half of this novel is outstanding. There are few easy choices for Amaliya. Even paying her family a visit is a deadly proposition. Frater treats the initial days of a vampire’s life with brutal realism. There is blood and sex, but death outweighs everything else. I plowed through the first ten chapters online at the author’s website, and then ordered a hard copy.

The story changes in the second half. Amaliya meets other vampires and prepares for the arrival of her maker. Action still dominates, but the other characters are less three-dimensional than the protagonist. The ending ties up all loose ends, but feels a little forced.

Overall, Pretty When She Dies is a very enjoyable work of dark fiction. It also has one of my favorite book covers of all time.

According to the author’s blog, Pretty When She Dies has been optioned for a movie by Tripod Entertainment. Not bad for a self-published book!

****

Podcast: Author Reading Chapter 1 of Lucifera's Pet in an atrocious faux-Irish accent (be afraid)

2010-04-19T10:08:00.005-05:00

Hold on to your hats. I have recently recorded and posted my first Podcast! Click the title link to hear me read chapter one from my vampire/werewolf dark fiction novel, Lucifera’s Pet.

Warning: Contains some profanity and one of the worst Irish accents ever recorded.

Book Review - A Night in the Lonesome October by Roger Zelazny

2010-04-19T10:06:00.001-05:00

In the spring of 1995, my girlfriend (now my wife) and I had just finished watching a movie and stopped at the Books-a-Million next to the theatre. In the bargain aisle, a thin hardback book caught my eye. The cover had a curious scene with Count Dracula having a conversation with Sherlock Holmes while petting an old hound dog. In the background, Frankenstein’s monster fumbled around as Rasputin sat locked in passionate conversation with an attractive, raven-haired witch.

The old saying suggests that a book should never be judged by its cover, but the exact opposite is true for A Night in the Lonesome October.

The story is narrated by Snuff, a grizzled old watchdog who just happens to belong to Jack the Ripper. He tells his tale over the course of thirty-one chapters, each representing a single day in the month of October. Snuff and his infamous master are charged with keeping an ancient portal to ultimate evil closed. There are other players in the game, but whether they seek to open the portal or keep it closed is a mystery.

The participants slowly reveal themselves during the month, jockeying for advantage and killing off other players when the opportunity arises. The characters are instantly recognizable from literature and popular movies: the good doctor and his brutish creation, the great detective, the vampiric count, a witch, a druid, a sadistic clergyman, a mad monk, and the wolf man Larry Talbot.

The colorful cast and story directly influenced by H.P. Lovecraft are complimented by Snuff’s cheerful narrative when interacting with the other players and their animal companions. When a writer crafts an enthralling story and truly enjoys writing it, that joy is passed on to the reader. Roger Zelazny must have had a blast writing this tale. One comical illustration per chapter by Gahan Wilson adds to the whimsical fun.

A Night in the Lonesome October is a fun and furious romp through the world built by 19th and 20th century literary and film masters. If you find this forgotten gem on an old library or bookstore shelf or floating around on eBay, pick it up. Unless the idea of Jack the Ripper and the wolf man having coffee and talking shop bores you, you will love this book.

Rating - *****

Book Review - Kept by Zoe Winters

2010-04-19T10:05:00.001-05:00

http://www.amazon.com/Kept-ebook/dp/B001M5TE1I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=digital-text&qid=1269415562&sr=8-1

Like most guys would do, I will preface my review by saying that I do not usually go for romance novels. Kept by Zoe Winters has made me rethink that.

Don’t let the romance tag fool you. There is no freakishly noble, donkey-cocked vicar. The words “lust spear,” “pulsating mounds of love pudding,” and “throbbing pocket of desire” do not appear at all.

We are introduced to therian (were-cat) Greta and her tribe of fellow supernatural creatures. An ancient prophesy rears its ugly head, sending our feline heroine running for her fur. The only person who might be able to keep her alive is the sworn enemy of her kind, the evil sorcerer Dayne.

The action gets started on the first page and does not let up until the end. The sex scenes are not overly graphic, but they are far from PG. Instead of moping around and pining for true love, these characters fuck, and it is hot.

Rather than using the supernatural as a setup for a cuddle fest, Winters breathes life into the denizens of this world. They are believable and flawed, which makes them much easier to root for.

Throughout the story, the prose keeps the tone fun and engaging. I thoroughly enjoyed this novella. Not once did I find myself speed-reading to find the next good part. I patiently devoured each word as it came. By the end, I realized that the “romance” tag was a misnomer. This is a good paranormal fiction tale. Period.

Rating - *****

Four Steps to Writing a Novel

2010-04-19T10:01:00.001-05:00

First, let’s clarify something. The title of this blog is “Four Steps to Writing a Novel,” not “Anybody Can Write A Bestselling Novel,” or even “Anybody Can Write A Good Novel.” Millions of people start novels every day. Very few actually finish. Even fewer manage to get their masterpiece in front of readers. In this blog, I will lay out a strategy that you can use to write a novel. The quality is up to you.

1. Build your characters

Novels are driven by characters. The best plot in the world is useless if the characters involved are not engaging. You need a protagonist or protagonists whose exploits will captivate the reader from the first page to the last page. An equally strong antagonist is just as important.

Once you have created your central characters , you need to bring them to life. Where did they grow up? What are their goals? How do they speak? How will they react when a giant spider bites the head off of the person next to them on the park bench? Your characters will experience a thousand situations in your story. Understanding who they are and what they want will help you keep their actions believable throughout their journey.

2. Plot out your story

You have defined characters with distinct traits that will guide their behavior. Now you need to decide what will happen to your characters. There are many ways you can do this. Some writers begin with a situation and let their writing flow and decide the story as they go.

I envy those writers. I am not one of them.

Every story has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Beginning: A giant spider captures Joe’s girlfriend, wrapping her up in a web and dragging her back to its lair for lunch.

Middle: Joe fights his way through the spider-infested city to save her.

End: Joe gets to the nest and saves her, but finds that the spiders filled her with spider eggs. They are both eaten by a million tiny mutant spiderbabies. The end.

HA! Fun stuff.

For me, an outline is critical. I don’t have a lot of free time to write, so I must make each minute count. By putting the main points down in an outline, I am able to keep myself focused and give direction to my words. I expand on the beginning, middle, and end points, adding plot points in between. These elements become like small “finish lines” in the story. This allows me to write to the next plot point and stay focused on that particular scene.

The outline is a tool. It will help you write towards your goal, but it is not set in stone. You can and will change the outline many times over the course of a novel. Some writers fear outlines because they do not want to be constrained. If used properly, an outline will give you something that anyone who writes a novel must have:

3. Stay motivated

Writing a novel takes time. If you are not a full-time writer, it will take you months or years to finish. You must find a way to stay motivated.

FYI – Money and fame cannot be your motivating factors. For every Stephen King who lives, breathes, and bleeds the writing craft, there are fifty thousand M.T. Murphy’s trying to find an audience.

Find someone who will read your work. It can be your significant other, a friend, your old college English professor—anyone who will read your story and give you feedback. Writing a blog and allowing online readers to get a first look at your work in process is also an option that is gaining popularity. No matter who reads your story, just having an audience will make you want to keep going. If they are enjoying your words and letting you know that, you will be even more excited to finish what you started.

The only way to finish a novel is by writing. Whether you write ten words a day or two thousand, you are far more likely to keep going if you have goals. If you write three hundred words a day for five days each week, you will have written 78,000 words at the end of a year. That is the equivalent of one page of text each writing day. That is also the approximate word count of a 260 page novel.

4. Finished Product!

If you are able to fight your way through all the way to the end, congratulations! You have written your novel. At this point, you will want to step back and let it sit for a while. After you have given it a week or so to cool, read it yourself. You will likely see a thousand things you want to change. You can fix these as you go or read it until the end and then fix them. Either way, you will repeat this process several times, improving your story each time.

Once your novel reads exactly the way you want it to, you are finished. At this point, you have many options. You can file it away on your computer or send it to friends and family. You can self-publish it immediately as an eBook on the web. You can find a good editor who will review and suggest ways to improve it.

I suggest taking your finished draft to an editor who is experienced with similar books. Whether you publish the book yourself, shop around for a literary agent, or submit the book directly to publishers, every book needs editing. A professional editor can both point out your mistakes and help you make your story as strong as it can be.

Advice from a nobody!

The most important piece of advice I can give you is this: Make a commitment to yourself that you will finish your novel and write it down along with a deadline. Put the piece of paper where you will see it every day. When you give yourself a goal, your subconscious mind has a way of steering your waking actions to achieve that goal.

If you want to write a novel, you can. The only thing stopping you is you.

I may be a “nobody” right now, but I have finished writing a novel, and so can you.

In a future blog I will reveal the secrets for writing a bestselling novel that starts a movie franchise and makes the author rich beyond his or her wildest dreams—just as soon as I figure that out for myself.